Dutch Sumo Fever

I got sick last weekend. Not just sick, but sore throat, fever, headache, sweaty chills, lost six pounds in one day sick. And it couldn't have come at a worse time.

It was Tulip Time last weekend here in Pella. I say "weekend", but it was actually Wednesday night through Saturday night. I felt a little rough on Wednesday. But nothing was going to keep me from running the Klompen Klassic - Pella's annual Tulip Time 5K run.

Sister-in-law Amber agreed to make the run with me, and I can honestly say that it was the most fun I've ever had exercising. I started running about two months ago - in large part due to being inspired by Amber's new aggressive workout schedule. I've been running about two miles a day, and enjoying the results of some decent physical activity in my life.

Well, 5K is apparently around 3.1 or 3.2 miles, and let's just say that Amber and I were both a little nervous about it. It was the longest either of us have really attempted yet, and we'd be giving it a shot with almost 1000 other people through the streets of Pella.

I set a goal for us to finish in under 40 minutes - which, I know seems like a really long time to most people who'll read this, but I wanted to make sure I was being realistic. We finished barely over 36 minutes, and I was really proud of both of us. Even though we got passed by a late grandma in her late sixties, several elementary aged children, and countless "serious" runners, we were by no means at the back of the pack. And both Andrea and Kyle (Amber's dashing hubby) were there to meet us at the end.

To my amazement, the sore throat that I'd felt coming on Wednesday morning had pretty much disappeared after the run and we went to the local Mexican eatery to celebrate afterwards.

Thursday
I woke up and I knew I was in trouble. Sore throat, mild fever, headache. But there was no slouching on Thursday, because it was the first day of our 2nd Reformed Church Tulip Time Youth Group Fundraiser - DUTCH SUMO WRESTLING. We got the idea a while back to buy some of those large foam sumo suits for the youth group, dress them up in Dutch outfits, and have people pay to wrestle in them.

Well, the outfits looked fantastic, and the whole thing was pretty hilarious. We didn't have a huge crowd on Thursday, but we had enough to know that we'd made a popular fundraiser choice. The only real problem for me was standing in the sun all day, sweating like crazy, and lifting up large Dutch Sumo people while my illness seemed to be growing worse.

Friday
Friday was much like Thursday except with everything cranked up a notch. We had a line waiting to try Dutch Sumo Wrestling when we opened on Friday, and we nearly tripled our Thursday business. My illness kicked up a notch as well. By the end of Friday, between the sore throat and having to yell, "Ready, set . . . Dutch Sumo!" I'd pretty much lost my voice. I also found out when I got home and stepped on the scale that I'd lost about six or seven pounds since the day before.

This whole experience started to make me a little nervous since I was supposed to be performing an hour of comedy for the Norwalk Crossroads Church the following night. Andrea finally put her foot down Friday night and said she'd cover for me all day Saturday and run the Dutch Sumo booth as the only adult with some youth help. I thanked her, took some Tylenol Severe Cold and Flu and hit the hay after some rousing holes of Mario Golf with Kyle. (I'm getting pretty good hitting mostly par and birdies. Man, that game is worth the purchase of a Gamecube in and of itself!)

Saturday
With plans of taking it easy all day on Saturday until the big performance, I was immediately thrown for a loop when we received an early morning call telling us the Pella Tulip Time bigwigs were coming to our booth early to check out the fundraiser they'd been hearing so much about. Long story short, I leapt off the couch and made a quick trip to the church to set up the sumo ring (a twenty minute process) in about ten minutes. By the time the bigwigs had come through and we'd opened for business, and I finally headed back home, I was a sweaty sick mess.

I tried to take it easy the rest of the day. I drank twelve cups of green tea with Prairie City's own "Taylor Honey". I popped cough drops all day. I took a nap. I didn't talk. Yet, when it was time to head to Des Moines for the performance, my voice was probably only at about 70%

Pastor Glen at Crossroad's Church asked me if I was okay to go on when I got to his office. I assured him I was. After all, I've spoken sick before. Once I even gave a half hour talk at a retreat while having the most excruciating tooth pain imaginable because I needed an emergency root canal, and no one was the wiser. Yet, this show didn't go as well as planned.

Now, I'll admit, I'm my own worst critic. And often, when I think I've had a really bad show, it wasn't always as bad as I thought. Amber, Kyle, and Kyle's folks came to the show, as did my church's pastor and a few congregation members. They said that despite the bad voice, it was still a pretty funny show. While I don't disagree - as I seemed to get everyone to laugh pretty hard a few times during my hour - it definitely wasn't my best show by far.

Crossroads Church is a mobile ministry, so the show was in the Norwalk Middle School Gym. It was a little warm, and considering my fever, I'm pretty sure I was quite the spectacle with so much sweat pouring off my body. Halfway through the show, I also accidentally kicked my water over and froze for a millisecond, watching it pour out, until I finally reached down and picked it up. What an amateur!

anyway, Pastor Glen was great about the whole thing. He assured me the show went well despite my apologies, and I hope the whole event does great things for his church.

It was definitely one of those nights when I was driving home and thinking to myself, "Why am I still doing stand up? Maybe I should quit and just focus on the spiritual stuff!" Which I've been told is a pretty common thought for any comedian, Christian or otherwise. Luckily, those thoughts pass quickly and I'm able to force my brain into a state of denial about the few rough speaking experiences that come up.

Sunday
Mother's Day! Hurray! And I celebrated by heading over to Andrea's Grandma B's house and immediately passing out on the couch for the afternoon. What a great Grandson-in-law and son-in-law I am! But my illness finally overtook me and I couldn't make it any longer. I slept the day off. I was even supposed to attend a Nickel Creek concert in Des Moines with Andrea (it was her birthday present), but I let Amber go in my place because I felt so rotten. They said it was fantastic, and I'm sure it was. I'm glad they had a good time.

Monday
More sleep, feeling better, sore throat almost gone. Headed to my parent's abode for a little late Mother's daying and rasslin' watching and had a great time while still taking it easy. Started to realize that most of the previous five days was in kind of a hazed blur, and thanked God that it was over and He brought me through it one piece! Can't wait to till next year's Tulip Time. I'm thinking about a cribbage tournament as well as Dutch Sumo. I've got a whole year to plan.

Till next time,

Jason