At least Nathan's funny.

Happy St. Patrick's day everyone.

I'm filling in for the church secretary this week and since it's Friday morning, it's a little slow around the office, so I thought I'd take a moment to blog.

Nothing much to say today. I am, in fact, Irish. And the picture on the left is an authentic painting of my great, great uncle Charley McKain'O'Taylor.

I was thinking the other day about how good this blog is not, and wishing I did cool things on my blog like post pictures of where I've been, and who I saw.

But I realized that I'm usually far to lazy to find the camera before I leave on trips, and even when I have it with me, I'm far too lazy to take any pictures.

So anyway, wishing this blog was more entertaining for you the reader, I've decided to include a story today sent to me by good friend, and rocket scientist, Nathan Kinkaid.

Nathan and I are friends from back in middle school, we went to college together at ISU and were roommates for a better part of it, and we shared a lot of stage time on ISU's sketch comedy group Grandma Mojo's Moonshine Revival.

Nathan now spends most of his time doing cool things like hiking, biking, raising a family, living in California, and thinking up ways to make rockets go "Whooooosh!" up in the sky. But occasionally he'll send me a great tidbit of comedy he's worked up. Sometimes it's a skit, sometimes it's a story - either way it usually makes me laugh.

So, without any permission from Nathan what-so-ever, I present to you his latest story to me - which at least ties into today's theme because the main character has an Irish name. And oh yes, to maintain full disclosure, I did edit one word out of the story for my family readers. Sorry Nathan.


Chancy McLuckyguy and the Ogre
by Nathan Kinkaid, Rocket Scientist, Good Friend, Super Genius, Funny Man

Chancy McLukyguy awoke from his nap to urgent knocking on his door. It was Rolph and Timmy. Chancy arose from his couch and answered the door.

"Why aren't you at the picnic, Chancy?" asked Timmy.

"I flipped my lucky coin, and a nap won over the picnic," explained Chancy.

"Wow, that was lucky," said Rolph, "Cause an ogre showed up at the picnic, and it ate all the jello. Now it's making Mrs. Artlemore eat all the devilled eggs."

"That coin sure never steers you wrong, Chancy. It sure is lucky that a guy with the name 'Chancy McLuckyguy' found it in some black cat poop under a ladder," said Timmy.

"Yeah," said Rolph, "But, oh yeah, we need your help against the ogre."

"You're the only one who could help Mrs. Artlemore now," chimed in Timmy, "We all know she can only hold 50 devilled eggs before she gets violently ill, and the ogre has alread made her eat 17! You have to help us!"

"Well, I'll have to flip my lucky coin," said Chancy, "Heads I start heading down to the picnic and see if I can help, tails I stay here and go back to sleep." Chancy flipped the coin in the air, caught it in his right hand, and slapped it down on the back of his left hand. "Heads," he said, "Let's start heading down to the picnic."

"Yay!" exclaimed Rolph and Timmy, as they followed him out to the street. "Why are you stopping?" they asked.

"Heads I keep going out to the sidewalk, tails I get my mail out of the mailbox and read it." Chancy flipped the coin again. "Heads."

"Yay!" They arrived at the sidewalk by Chancy's street. Chancy stopped again. "Heads I'm going to the video arcade, tails I cross the street to go to the picnic," said Chancy. "Heads. See you guys later."

"No!" said Timmy.

"Please, you have to help us", said Rolph.

"You don't need luck to cross the road," said Timmy, "You can do it without your coin. Please, just once."

"Yeah, just once," implored Rolph, "You don't need luck just to cross the stupid street."

Chancy pondered it. He supposed just this once, he could help out these two idiots. He relented. "Okay," said Chancy, "Let's cross the street."

"Yay!" Chancy turned and stepped out into the street. He was hit by a bus. A bus made entirely of nerf - on the only day it would ever run because buses made entirely of nerf are not very reliable. Chancy bounced over onto the grass on the other side of the street.

"Wow!" said Rolph, "Can you believe how lucky that guy is? Even without his coin, the bus he got he by was made of nerf!"

"That's crazy," said Timmy, "I'll go wake him up." Timmy ran across the street to Chancy. "He's dead!"

"Oh no! I can't believe he got killed by a nerf bus! He should have listened to the coin and not us."

"Where's the coin? We'll need that to defeat the ogre."

"Here it is. Wait! It has too heads! He was never lucky, he was just smart!"

"No way! Now I'm glad he's dead."

"Yeah, we hate smart people here in Dumbville."

"Let's go kick the ogre in the butt. That'll teach him to ruin the Dumbville Town Picnic."

And then the ogre killed everyone in the town by making them eat devilled eggs until they blew up. Those idiots in Dumbville always made way too many devilled eggs.

THE END

till next time,

Jason

Late Night Musings

I found myself driving over night again on Friday, as I often do when I travel to speak, and decided that there are just some things I've grown to expect while driving late at night. Some events just seem to reoccur every time I travel between the hours of midnight and six a.m.

For instance:

1. More nighttime truckers than not choose to travel with the confederate flag emblazoned somewhere on their clothes. I'm not certain on why it's more nighttime truckers than daytime truckers, but during most late night gas station visits, I'm fairly sure the south may rise again.

2. I've never stopped at a rest stop between the hours of midnight and six without seeing at least one biker. Now, granted, the exception to this is during severe winter conditions, but I've even seen a few diehard Harley riders during some rough snow storms.

3. To be a gas station attendant during the graveyard shift requires one to be short some type of body part. Now most of the time, it's just a tooth or two. But I've seen missing hands, arms, legs, eyes, and even one young guy I see on occasion who has no nose! I'm completely serious. I know what you're thinking - "If he doesn't have a nose, how does he smell?" Just awful.

4. If the skies are clear, I will see at least one falling star. What do I wish for? More wishes of course.

5. Coast to Coast AM is the best way to stay awake. There's nothing like staying awake because you've become paranoid that there are aliens or black ops government officials that patrol the highways during early morning hours.

6. As good as Krispy Kreme doughnuts are, they're even better when you can get them delivered fresh at 4 AM as you pass through the right gas station.

7. While driving past the casinos where I-80 meets I-29, I've discovered that they apparently don't suffer from "slow hours". Those places are always hopping.

8. Small children are up way too late. I see at least one or two cars every trip when I stop at a gas station or rest area where they have several elementary aged children awake and running around with enough energy to make you think they'd say it was noon.

I'm thinking this list would seem more complete if it ended at 10, but alas, it's time for me to move on in my day.

till next time,
Jason

No blog for you!

Yeah, I'm desperately behind in my blogging, but unfortunately in the next ten minutes I have to devote to it this week, you're not going to get very much.

I head off for Orange City, IA in a few hours to do a Wednesday-Friday Spiritual Renewal Week for the Unity Christian High School there with Troy and Dawn. This immediately follows the Renewal Week I did last week here at Pella Christian High School with Troy, Dawn and Mark.

We had a great time last week. It was fun just to have those three at my apartment here in Pella for a change, rather than them always hosting me in Sioux Falls. We laughed, ate a ton, had great talks, and I got the chance to scare the beejeebus out of Troy late one night with one of my new Mexican wrestling masks (the one Nathan got me in LA). So it was a good time.

I should elaborate more, but I wouldn't even know where to start. We led chapels every morning, and then did a big praise and worship service on Wednesday night. We got to visit classes all week (and many prayers go out to God that He never calls me to be a full time teacher - those long days in the classroom wear me out!) and sit in the guidance office to talk to a lot of cool kids. I met some great students with a lot of heartache and a lot of promising futures.

We ate out on Thursday night at El Charro, and, as usual on our ministry trips, Troy promptly grabbed a waiter and told him we had a birthday at our table. Troy does this almost every trip, whether there's a birthday or not. He just thinks it's fun to see the wait staff come out with treats, a song, and a silly hat for the innocent bystander. Usually he picks on the new guy or gal in the group and makes it a surprise - this time he just pointed at me. So I got to wear a sombrero (and Troy got a much smaller one!) and we got some kind of flaky, whip creamy dessert with chocolate. No complaints from me.

Will I update next week after Orange city? More than likely. I'll be filling in for our church secretary Cindy while she's on vacation, so I'll be in front of a computer - no excuses this time.

A big shout out to Dustin who's still enjoying his time in Holland. Make sure you check out his blog on the right. He's living the high life right now, and having a blast. He msn'ed me yesterday and said they're taking a trip to the beaches of Normandy this weekend, and I'm very jealous!

Till next time,

Jason