Dear Deer,

Was on my way up to Alton, IA last Wednesday night to speak for the My Choice Middle School group in Alton on Thursday morning. I was joining Troy and Dawn, and I was really looking forward to it. This middle school bunch is really fun, and I was really excited for Troy and Dawn to experience their fun for the first time.

Long story short, I hit a deer on I-80 about five miles from the Atlantic exit and totaled my car. It was a busy highway, and I was pretty lucky no one else got hit or hurt.

It jumped right out in front of me and I hit it dead on. Its head was on one side and it's rump was on the other.

The airbags went off, the hood flew up and smashed the windshield, and I pulled over immediately to the side.

One thing I didn't know about airbags is that they apparently use shotgun shells (sans bb's) to fire them off. This means they're really stinkin' loud, smell like gunfire, and immediately fill the car with smoke.

As soon as I found myself engulfed in smoke, I grabbed my Ipod and darted into the field from the car. After a few moments of observation, I realized the car was not on fire and called Andrea, then 911, then Troy to let him know I wouldn't make it to the event.

A nice sheriff from Cass County came to help me out. As we looked at the car, he asked if I would mind climbing inside to get my insurance info. As I did, I happened to step on a discarded beer can in the ditch. I looked down. There were several more nearby.

The officer said, "Those belong to you?"

"No, sir." The only thing I was under the influence of was a McDonald's Southern Chicken sandwich.

He reached into a pocket and pulled out one of those little, yellow evidence markers and dropped it by the cans. I figured that I was soon about to take my first breatalyzer test . . .

The wrecker truck came and towed my poor, totalled car away.

After explaining who I was and where I was going, the officer seemed satisfied that I had, in fact, not been drinking, and so we discussed how I knew the Schoenfeld brothers from Atlantic, and how they now did Improv in Omaha.

The sheriff was a great guy. I got dropped off at a gas station in Atlantic and waited for an hour or so for my brother to come and get me.

To add insult to injury, Troy let me know the next day that the Alton group was fantastic and they had an amazing time with them . . .

It didn't help my sour mood any.

We go to Orland Park, Ill. next week, and then I get to go to the great Northwest - Washington State, the day after Thanksgiving!

Till next time,

Jason