Hit Inwood, IA last night to work with the Sioux Falls crew again for a big youth rally thingy that they were putting on.
I picked up good SERVE buddy, and frequent blog comment poster, Dustin on the way. He attends college in Sioux Center, IA at Dordt, and was more than happy to ride along and help out with the talk I had to give. I had him dress up in his nerdy, hiked-up-all-the-way plaid shorts, sandals with black dress socks, and pink polo shirt to impersonate an older guy dancing. Don't ask why, it was just a very funny visual, and it got a lot of laughs. Then I talked about Jonathon, son of Shammah, brother of David from II Samuel, and talked about killing giants. The evening went pretty well. The band was made up of Troy, Dawn, and a bunch of high school folk, and actually rocked pretty hard considering they threw their set together that night.
On the way home though, I had to drive through the freakiest thunder storm I've ever seen. For about the last three hours of the journey, it was pouring rain, and lightning was striking all around in non-stop bursts. For anyone in western Iowa who saw it, it was completely crazy. There didn't seem to be a single moment were I couldn't see lightning striking somewhere. It was so bad, that each strike sent static interference through my radio and made it almost impossible to listen to.
Tons of people were pulling over to rest areas on the side of the road. I thought about doing the same thing. There were so many lightning strikes that seemed so close that I was actually a little scared of getting hit. But then I figured that if I kept moving, there was less of a chance of the lightning hitting me than if I just sat in one place, surrounded by a hundred other cars. I don't know how scientifically accurate that may be, but I didn't get struck, so I guess it worked.
It was fantastic to see Troy, Dawn, Luke, and Dustin again. We sat for a bit and laughed about how great Mark's wedding was a few weeks ago. We caught up on ministry stories, laughed till it hurt, and planned on seeing each other again in January when we head up to Michigan for a retreat.
Was this a really boring post? Seems like it. Let's see, what can liven it up? Hmmm. Dustin and I were amused greatly when I stopped at a gas station to get a fountain drink. On the side of the cup there was a cartoon picture of a dinosaur taking a shower. Think about that picture for a second. I really have no idea what it meant, or why it was on there, or who in this world thought, "You know what our fountain drink glasses need? Showering Dinosaurs!" But it was pretty hysterical. At least to Dustin and I.
I'm rambling. I'm tired. I think I'll just sign off now and try to get something more coherent down later in the week.
Till next time,
Jason
Monday, September 19, 2005
Monday, September 12, 2005
December in September
Drove up to Holland, MI for a quick stand-up show on Saturday/Sunday. It was at the Beechwood Church in Holland, and I was the opening act for southern-fried Christian rockers DecmeberRadio.
First off, DecemberRadio was fantastic. I had to take off early for the seven hour drive back to Pella, but I heard them warm up, and I heard the first few songs of the concert, and needless to say I was very intrigued. The only way I can really describe them is say they sound like a Christian version of someone like Lynard Skynard. They've got a sound that's greatly lacking in Christian music, and they're extremely talented. I got to snag one of their CD's on the way out - a collection of praise songs - and I'm giving it a listen as I type this. Very enjoyable. Check them out.
The show was outside on the lawn of the Beechwood Church. And, although I was breaking one of the cardinal rules of stand-up (never perform outside), the show went pretty well. The crowd was smaller than expected. It was a BEAUTIFUL night in Michigan, the Lions were playing, and there was another Christian concert not to far down the road, so not as many folks showed up they might have hoped, but it was still pretty good. And those that did show up still got a great rock concert, so it was definately worth it.
The stand-up went as well as could be expected for an outdoor event. The breeze was a little strong, the crowd was pretty far back from the stage, and they were pretty spread out. All of which is pretty on par for stand-up at an outdoor event. All that being said, there were some laughs to be had, and the staff of Beechwood smiled big, shook my hand, and had very kind words for my departure (which is always a good thing for a comedian).
All of which brings up an interesting topic I've been meaning to write on: The Top Five Unspoken Rules of Performing Stand-Up. "The rules", as I'll call them, were not developed by me, but by comedians that came before me long ago and far away, and have been passed down through the generations of willing saps who think they can tell a joke on stage. The concept is very simple. If you want to have a good stand-up show, try to stick to the following five things. (Listed in no particular order.)
1. Don't perform outside. Supposedly, small, dark, cool places are more conducive to comedy, and, for the most part, I'd have to agree. The closer the quarters, the more laughter seems to be contagious. Plus, being indoors, there are far less distractions for the audience. They're forced to focus forward onto the performer. While outdoor venues, on the other hand, are supposedly more ideal for music. You can spread out, get comfortable, and have a lot more choice about how loud you want the volume to be since you can choose how close you sit to the stage.
Is it true? Actually, for the most part, I find that it tends to be. I've only performed stand-up outdoors a few times, and the best I could ever say it went was "pretty good". There's just someting about being outdoors that seems odd for comedy. I got to see a couple of my favorite Christian comedians, Jay Laffoon and Taylor Mason, perform at the RISE Above music festival in Orange City, IA earlier this summer. They both were hilarious, of course, but even they weren't quite as effective outdoors.
2. No proms. I've blogged about this one before. The only entertainment that seems to work at proms is something that's interactive - hypnotists, magicians, karoake type stuff. The general rule of thumb is that the students are too tired, and more than likely have something other than comedy on their minds. It can often be a heckling nightmare.
For the most part, I turn all proms down now. Out of the handfull I've done, I've only ever had one successful one. They're brutal. I had one once where I was supposed to perform for an hour between the dinner and the dance. Well, twenty minutes in, no one was laughing, and I mean no one! I wrapped up and walked off. Turns out, as I was later told, the kids didn't want a comedian. So they decided that if they just refused to laugh, I'd quit earlier. They were right. One of the worst performance nights of my life.
3. Don't perform for crowds less than 50. The smaller the crowd, the less contagious the laughter. I'll give a message, read poetry, or peform improv for a crowd of 10 on any night, but stand-up needs more people. The smaller the crowd, the more self concious they get. Are the other 20 people laughing? I don't want to laugh real hard if they're not laughing! The larger the crowd, the easier it is for them to let go. I've found this rule of thumb to be right most of the time, and I always feel way more confident when the crowd is 100+.
4. Don't peform Before 1 PM. I think the actual rule is like 6 PM, but I don't mind lowering it a bit since I do a lot of camps, retreats, and the like. I think the thought here is that most people's brains aren't firing as quickly before noon, and I'd generally have to agree. There's nothing scarier than having to do a 9 AM show for a droopy-eyed group that looks like they'd rather be in bed. People are just way more serious before noon.
5. Don't peform just because it pays. This can be a hard rule to follow, especially when the rent's due. But some people just don't know when it's appropriate to hire a comedian. I don't turn down a lot of shows, in fact, I take a few every year that I probably shouldn't, but sometimes you just have to say "No, thank you."
I was once asked to do an hour of comedy in what I was told was going to be a retirement home. Well, I got there, and it wasn't a retirement home as much as it was a long term care facility for people who were dying. I'm pretty sure very few of the people were really coherent enough to know what was going on. There was some crying and yelling during a lot of it. Nurses were constantly coming in to help patients. And they wanted me for an hour???? At the twenty minute mark, I thanked them and walked off. While I understand that these folks need entertainment, I don't think that a 20-something youth director telling puke stories is quite appropriate.
I've had to say no to a lot of things - girl scout conventions, elementary school classes, library Christmas parties - but sometimes you have to tell the prospective employers that a comedian may not be in their best interest. It's hard, especially when the they're offering a nice check, but some shows just aren't worth the mental punishment on you or the audience.
Do I follow "the rules"? Eh, sometimes. I break them more often than most people I know. I tend to be an optimist when accepting shows, and take most everything. I've tried to diversify what I do enough that I can satisfy most crowds with enough preperation so that I can tell people, "Well, I don't know about stand-up, but I've got some pretty funny poems and stories I could read." For the most part, I've found them all to be fairly grounded in some pretty good truths, though.
This weekend I travel up Inwood, IA for a big youth rally with the Sioux Falls Crew I love so much. I'm giving a spiritual message, which I'm excited about after a rocky month or two of stand-up shows.
Andrea says she's got some great pics from Mark Elgersma's wedding from last week that I'm gonna try to blog soon.
Till next time,
Jason
First off, DecemberRadio was fantastic. I had to take off early for the seven hour drive back to Pella, but I heard them warm up, and I heard the first few songs of the concert, and needless to say I was very intrigued. The only way I can really describe them is say they sound like a Christian version of someone like Lynard Skynard. They've got a sound that's greatly lacking in Christian music, and they're extremely talented. I got to snag one of their CD's on the way out - a collection of praise songs - and I'm giving it a listen as I type this. Very enjoyable. Check them out.
The show was outside on the lawn of the Beechwood Church. And, although I was breaking one of the cardinal rules of stand-up (never perform outside), the show went pretty well. The crowd was smaller than expected. It was a BEAUTIFUL night in Michigan, the Lions were playing, and there was another Christian concert not to far down the road, so not as many folks showed up they might have hoped, but it was still pretty good. And those that did show up still got a great rock concert, so it was definately worth it.
The stand-up went as well as could be expected for an outdoor event. The breeze was a little strong, the crowd was pretty far back from the stage, and they were pretty spread out. All of which is pretty on par for stand-up at an outdoor event. All that being said, there were some laughs to be had, and the staff of Beechwood smiled big, shook my hand, and had very kind words for my departure (which is always a good thing for a comedian).
All of which brings up an interesting topic I've been meaning to write on: The Top Five Unspoken Rules of Performing Stand-Up. "The rules", as I'll call them, were not developed by me, but by comedians that came before me long ago and far away, and have been passed down through the generations of willing saps who think they can tell a joke on stage. The concept is very simple. If you want to have a good stand-up show, try to stick to the following five things. (Listed in no particular order.)
1. Don't perform outside. Supposedly, small, dark, cool places are more conducive to comedy, and, for the most part, I'd have to agree. The closer the quarters, the more laughter seems to be contagious. Plus, being indoors, there are far less distractions for the audience. They're forced to focus forward onto the performer. While outdoor venues, on the other hand, are supposedly more ideal for music. You can spread out, get comfortable, and have a lot more choice about how loud you want the volume to be since you can choose how close you sit to the stage.
Is it true? Actually, for the most part, I find that it tends to be. I've only performed stand-up outdoors a few times, and the best I could ever say it went was "pretty good". There's just someting about being outdoors that seems odd for comedy. I got to see a couple of my favorite Christian comedians, Jay Laffoon and Taylor Mason, perform at the RISE Above music festival in Orange City, IA earlier this summer. They both were hilarious, of course, but even they weren't quite as effective outdoors.
2. No proms. I've blogged about this one before. The only entertainment that seems to work at proms is something that's interactive - hypnotists, magicians, karoake type stuff. The general rule of thumb is that the students are too tired, and more than likely have something other than comedy on their minds. It can often be a heckling nightmare.
For the most part, I turn all proms down now. Out of the handfull I've done, I've only ever had one successful one. They're brutal. I had one once where I was supposed to perform for an hour between the dinner and the dance. Well, twenty minutes in, no one was laughing, and I mean no one! I wrapped up and walked off. Turns out, as I was later told, the kids didn't want a comedian. So they decided that if they just refused to laugh, I'd quit earlier. They were right. One of the worst performance nights of my life.
3. Don't perform for crowds less than 50. The smaller the crowd, the less contagious the laughter. I'll give a message, read poetry, or peform improv for a crowd of 10 on any night, but stand-up needs more people. The smaller the crowd, the more self concious they get. Are the other 20 people laughing? I don't want to laugh real hard if they're not laughing! The larger the crowd, the easier it is for them to let go. I've found this rule of thumb to be right most of the time, and I always feel way more confident when the crowd is 100+.
4. Don't peform Before 1 PM. I think the actual rule is like 6 PM, but I don't mind lowering it a bit since I do a lot of camps, retreats, and the like. I think the thought here is that most people's brains aren't firing as quickly before noon, and I'd generally have to agree. There's nothing scarier than having to do a 9 AM show for a droopy-eyed group that looks like they'd rather be in bed. People are just way more serious before noon.
5. Don't peform just because it pays. This can be a hard rule to follow, especially when the rent's due. But some people just don't know when it's appropriate to hire a comedian. I don't turn down a lot of shows, in fact, I take a few every year that I probably shouldn't, but sometimes you just have to say "No, thank you."
I was once asked to do an hour of comedy in what I was told was going to be a retirement home. Well, I got there, and it wasn't a retirement home as much as it was a long term care facility for people who were dying. I'm pretty sure very few of the people were really coherent enough to know what was going on. There was some crying and yelling during a lot of it. Nurses were constantly coming in to help patients. And they wanted me for an hour???? At the twenty minute mark, I thanked them and walked off. While I understand that these folks need entertainment, I don't think that a 20-something youth director telling puke stories is quite appropriate.
I've had to say no to a lot of things - girl scout conventions, elementary school classes, library Christmas parties - but sometimes you have to tell the prospective employers that a comedian may not be in their best interest. It's hard, especially when the they're offering a nice check, but some shows just aren't worth the mental punishment on you or the audience.
Do I follow "the rules"? Eh, sometimes. I break them more often than most people I know. I tend to be an optimist when accepting shows, and take most everything. I've tried to diversify what I do enough that I can satisfy most crowds with enough preperation so that I can tell people, "Well, I don't know about stand-up, but I've got some pretty funny poems and stories I could read." For the most part, I've found them all to be fairly grounded in some pretty good truths, though.
This weekend I travel up Inwood, IA for a big youth rally with the Sioux Falls Crew I love so much. I'm giving a spiritual message, which I'm excited about after a rocky month or two of stand-up shows.
Andrea says she's got some great pics from Mark Elgersma's wedding from last week that I'm gonna try to blog soon.
Till next time,
Jason
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
The Wedding Singer Part Deux
So Andrea and I headed up to Minneapolis, MN to visit good friends, and new midwesterners, Mark and Lisa Leiknes and their baby Lucy. We had a fantastic time. They just moved back from California. Mark is one of my old friends from when I used to do sketch comedy in Grandma Mojo's Moonshine Revival at Iowa State University. He's probably the funniest guy I've ever met, and he currently works as a freelance graphic artist (which I think is a paltry use of his amazing comedy talents, but alas, he's a pretty awesome graphic designer, so what are you going to do?). Lisa is a school teacher and quite a bit of good fun herself. I don't think I've ever seen her without a smile on her face - except for when she told us about the accidental toxic poisoning of their cat (who they've named "Ourselves" so that they could say, "We named our cat after ourselves!") which resulted in the loss of part of its liver. Who knew the dangerous lives of cats? Good thing they have nine, huh?
We went out for supper, watched Mark berate a Mexican restaurant employee for their lack of air conditioning, ate some good food, bought a pizza, watched Shaolin Soccer, and basically laughed non stop for about a day straight.
The baby is gorgeous and extremely well tempered. I got to give her the nightly feeding on Friday and she promplty fell asleep in my arms. I may have to get me one of those some day.
Overall, it was a great night, and it makes me really glad that the Leiknes' have moved back closer to Iowa from California. Mark also got some great career news that I'm really excited about, but alas, it is top secret, so I will have to wait to post about it. But it's really cool, and as soon as I get the go ahead, I will write away.
Then it was on to Sheboygan, Wisconsin for the main event of our Labor Day Weekend - The wedding of good friend and ministry partner Mark Elgersma to his lovely bride Cassie Smies. For those of you who may not know, I've gotten to become friends with Mark E. during the last three years over the course of all the Sioux Falls SERVE projects I've spoken at. Mark is the sound man, running all the sound for the band and my microphones. He's also just an amazingly great guy, hilarious prankster, and a real man of God. He's helped me so much in my own ministry ways over the last three years.
Well, the wedding was on Labor Day Monday at 11 AM and I was asked to emcee the reception, but the families of the betrothed couple invited everyone up early to enjoy the wonders of Sheboygan.
The town is beautiful. It's right on lake Michigan, has beaches and water like an ocean, tons of great shops and restaurants, and the weather is beautiful this time of year. We walked, ate at a place called The Mucky Duck, had a picnic, played cards, and had an unbelievable amount of fun with all the Sioux Fall-ites that trekked up for the adventure that was Mark's wedding.
Being the emcee for the reception was a lot of fun. I'll admit that for the first time in a long time I was pretty nervous. I'm usually not one to fall prey to those nasty butterflies, but they were biting pretty hard on Monday afternoon. I suppose it was because there were so many people I really liked and respected in the crowd, but, as Andrea will attest, it made me rather testy to be around for awhile till it was over.
I told a few stories about Mark - the first time I met Cassie and wondered how he got someone like her - watching Mark and and Dan Tenapel chase each other in their underpants one night - and the crowd seemed to enjoy them. Troy Kooima shared the legendary story about the "underwear ninjas" which I may have to expound on someday in the blog. And Son's of Thunder band member Danny Fergen basically just stood there looking like a heart throb in his tux and stole everyone's thunder.
Then Dan Tenapel and Troy Kooima joined me for a new rendition of the wedding song from Jill and Rob's wedding, and the crowd seemed to enjoy that as well.
It was a gorgeous wedding, a perfect weekend, and a ton of fun. Plus, I got to go on a long romatic walk with Andrea down a mile long pier and around a lighthouse which was a pretty big plus!
I'm heading off for Michigan, and possibly Chicago, this weekend to lead some worship services and speak at a rally. I'll hopefully have another update in less than a week!
Till next time,
Jason
We went out for supper, watched Mark berate a Mexican restaurant employee for their lack of air conditioning, ate some good food, bought a pizza, watched Shaolin Soccer, and basically laughed non stop for about a day straight.
The baby is gorgeous and extremely well tempered. I got to give her the nightly feeding on Friday and she promplty fell asleep in my arms. I may have to get me one of those some day.
Overall, it was a great night, and it makes me really glad that the Leiknes' have moved back closer to Iowa from California. Mark also got some great career news that I'm really excited about, but alas, it is top secret, so I will have to wait to post about it. But it's really cool, and as soon as I get the go ahead, I will write away.
Then it was on to Sheboygan, Wisconsin for the main event of our Labor Day Weekend - The wedding of good friend and ministry partner Mark Elgersma to his lovely bride Cassie Smies. For those of you who may not know, I've gotten to become friends with Mark E. during the last three years over the course of all the Sioux Falls SERVE projects I've spoken at. Mark is the sound man, running all the sound for the band and my microphones. He's also just an amazingly great guy, hilarious prankster, and a real man of God. He's helped me so much in my own ministry ways over the last three years.
Well, the wedding was on Labor Day Monday at 11 AM and I was asked to emcee the reception, but the families of the betrothed couple invited everyone up early to enjoy the wonders of Sheboygan.
The town is beautiful. It's right on lake Michigan, has beaches and water like an ocean, tons of great shops and restaurants, and the weather is beautiful this time of year. We walked, ate at a place called The Mucky Duck, had a picnic, played cards, and had an unbelievable amount of fun with all the Sioux Fall-ites that trekked up for the adventure that was Mark's wedding.
Being the emcee for the reception was a lot of fun. I'll admit that for the first time in a long time I was pretty nervous. I'm usually not one to fall prey to those nasty butterflies, but they were biting pretty hard on Monday afternoon. I suppose it was because there were so many people I really liked and respected in the crowd, but, as Andrea will attest, it made me rather testy to be around for awhile till it was over.
I told a few stories about Mark - the first time I met Cassie and wondered how he got someone like her - watching Mark and and Dan Tenapel chase each other in their underpants one night - and the crowd seemed to enjoy them. Troy Kooima shared the legendary story about the "underwear ninjas" which I may have to expound on someday in the blog. And Son's of Thunder band member Danny Fergen basically just stood there looking like a heart throb in his tux and stole everyone's thunder.
Then Dan Tenapel and Troy Kooima joined me for a new rendition of the wedding song from Jill and Rob's wedding, and the crowd seemed to enjoy that as well.
It was a gorgeous wedding, a perfect weekend, and a ton of fun. Plus, I got to go on a long romatic walk with Andrea down a mile long pier and around a lighthouse which was a pretty big plus!
I'm heading off for Michigan, and possibly Chicago, this weekend to lead some worship services and speak at a rally. I'll hopefully have another update in less than a week!
Till next time,
Jason
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
50/50 Again
Well, last night's show went considerably better than the show a week ago. It was essentially the same audience - not the same people, but the same organization, so it was the same type of people.
I scrapped the possiblilty of doing anything remotely close to a stand-up performance, and decided that if there was a chance of failing as miserably as I did last week, I was just going to make sure that at least I had fun. So I decided to do what I have the most fun doing - I'd read my poems.
When I walked in the door, I was greeted by the same person who'd lined the show up last week. She said that the "organization" had a suggestion for me after last week. In my mind I thought, What? Be more funny? But to my surprise, she said I had apparently offended some folks at the previous performance with some of my jokes. I was shocked. I pride myself on being a clean comedian. But apparently - and I'm not making this up - but apparently, some folks at the last show took offense to the fact that in a few of my jokes, I refer to pig farms having a bad smell. The "organization" I was performing for is a farm related one, so I guess I was just assuming that they knew that pig farms had a bad smell. But apparently the whole "hog odor" issue is a pretty big one in their area with a lot of play in the media about it, so they took offense to the fact that I was making fun of the situation.
I tried to explain that I felt really bad that anyone would be offended by something I said, especially farmers. I generally consider my entire act to be pro-farmer, considering I grew up on an Iowa farm, and my parents still live on one. They were in possesion of my CD, so I can only assume they knew some of my jokes might head that direction. And I told them that I had done that exact same show for The Iowa Pork Producers and had them rolling on the floor. Now, if the Pork Producers of Iowa don't have a problem with it, I couldn't see how this group could. But, I was told to stay away from "odor jokes", and being the consumate performer that I am, I swore that I would, and I did.
Much to my surprise, the poems went over like gangbusters. They got what was probably their biggest reaction to date. I wrote an extra three in the last couple days to make sure I could filled my alloted time.
It felt really good to perform them, and since it was my forth of fifth reading of them by now, I had many of them nearly memorized and I could spend a lot more time putting energy into the performance rather than worry about reading everything without stumbling.
I'd wanted to use the new song again this week, but unfortunately I realized that it contained the line, "What's that smell?", so I immediately scrapped it. I also had to scrap a brand new poem due to its offensive subject matter. But for you, the loyal blog reader, I will now present a special treat! The world premiere of the previously unreleased poem, That Old Familiar Smell!
That Old Familiar Smell
I moved off the farm at age eighteen,
Back in nineteen ninety-four,
And the smell of all those pigs back home,
Still lingers on me I’m sure.
There’s something about that hog odor,
Some swear it’s the worst smell known,
It sticks in your hair and all your clothes,
And seeps through down to the bone.
If you walk down the street, you might see,
Some folk’s whose heads whip around,
Then they’ll start moving a lot quicker,
And make some disgusted sound.
My brothers and I hated this smell,
And thought it might do us harm,
So we’d go and complain to my dad,
About living on the farm.
We’d say, “Dad it stinks! We can’t stand it!
This place just reeks don’t you see?”
My dad would look at us and he’d smile,
“It smells like money to me.”
I know, I know! It's actually pretty tame considering its supposed offensive nature. So I'd just like to take this opportunity to apologize to any of my readers who feel like I've slighted them in any way shape or form due to my own personal opinion that manure smells icky sometimes. The opinions expressed on this web page are solely mine, and may in no way shape or form relfect the opinions of anyone else on the planet who farms, used to farm, lived on a farm, lives near a farm, or has used the word farm.
till next time,
Jason
I scrapped the possiblilty of doing anything remotely close to a stand-up performance, and decided that if there was a chance of failing as miserably as I did last week, I was just going to make sure that at least I had fun. So I decided to do what I have the most fun doing - I'd read my poems.
When I walked in the door, I was greeted by the same person who'd lined the show up last week. She said that the "organization" had a suggestion for me after last week. In my mind I thought, What? Be more funny? But to my surprise, she said I had apparently offended some folks at the previous performance with some of my jokes. I was shocked. I pride myself on being a clean comedian. But apparently - and I'm not making this up - but apparently, some folks at the last show took offense to the fact that in a few of my jokes, I refer to pig farms having a bad smell. The "organization" I was performing for is a farm related one, so I guess I was just assuming that they knew that pig farms had a bad smell. But apparently the whole "hog odor" issue is a pretty big one in their area with a lot of play in the media about it, so they took offense to the fact that I was making fun of the situation.
I tried to explain that I felt really bad that anyone would be offended by something I said, especially farmers. I generally consider my entire act to be pro-farmer, considering I grew up on an Iowa farm, and my parents still live on one. They were in possesion of my CD, so I can only assume they knew some of my jokes might head that direction. And I told them that I had done that exact same show for The Iowa Pork Producers and had them rolling on the floor. Now, if the Pork Producers of Iowa don't have a problem with it, I couldn't see how this group could. But, I was told to stay away from "odor jokes", and being the consumate performer that I am, I swore that I would, and I did.
Much to my surprise, the poems went over like gangbusters. They got what was probably their biggest reaction to date. I wrote an extra three in the last couple days to make sure I could filled my alloted time.
It felt really good to perform them, and since it was my forth of fifth reading of them by now, I had many of them nearly memorized and I could spend a lot more time putting energy into the performance rather than worry about reading everything without stumbling.
I'd wanted to use the new song again this week, but unfortunately I realized that it contained the line, "What's that smell?", so I immediately scrapped it. I also had to scrap a brand new poem due to its offensive subject matter. But for you, the loyal blog reader, I will now present a special treat! The world premiere of the previously unreleased poem, That Old Familiar Smell!
That Old Familiar Smell
I moved off the farm at age eighteen,
Back in nineteen ninety-four,
And the smell of all those pigs back home,
Still lingers on me I’m sure.
There’s something about that hog odor,
Some swear it’s the worst smell known,
It sticks in your hair and all your clothes,
And seeps through down to the bone.
If you walk down the street, you might see,
Some folk’s whose heads whip around,
Then they’ll start moving a lot quicker,
And make some disgusted sound.
My brothers and I hated this smell,
And thought it might do us harm,
So we’d go and complain to my dad,
About living on the farm.
We’d say, “Dad it stinks! We can’t stand it!
This place just reeks don’t you see?”
My dad would look at us and he’d smile,
“It smells like money to me.”
I know, I know! It's actually pretty tame considering its supposed offensive nature. So I'd just like to take this opportunity to apologize to any of my readers who feel like I've slighted them in any way shape or form due to my own personal opinion that manure smells icky sometimes. The opinions expressed on this web page are solely mine, and may in no way shape or form relfect the opinions of anyone else on the planet who farms, used to farm, lived on a farm, lives near a farm, or has used the word farm.
till next time,
Jason
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Different Audiences
It always strikes me as strange how you can do the same comedy material for two different audiences and have it be a hit with one, while only getting polite chuckles from another.
I did a half hour show last night for an audience that I've never been in front of before. I was excited going into the evening because the show had the potential to lead to many more shows if it went well. So, I decided that to make sure I put my best foot forward I would tell my three most popular stories - Oogey Boogey, Finger, and Puke. These are the three stories that regardless of where I am, or what I'm doing, they tend to go over very well. These are the stories I pull out when I'm nervous about an audience because they tend to be "gold" material for me.
So last night, for this new audience that I wanted to impress, I called on these tried and true favorites for the first twenty five minutes of the show. The last five minutes, I planned on doing something most comedians will do from time to time - I was going to try out a little new material. I've had my Grandpa Kain's old four string tenor banjo for a couple years now, and I've been slowly trying to work out ways to use it when I perform or speak. Well, I worked out a new comedy song (which I'm pretty happy with) and planned on trying it out at the end of the show last night after hopefully getting some big laughs with my old stories.
Well, about five minutes into the show, I knew it wasn't going to be a great night. Instead of big laughs like usual for these stories, I was getting mild and polite chuckles. Even on the big payoff lines of the stories, lines that have gotten raucous cheers and doubled-over laughing from some audiences, I recieved quite subdued laughter.
Needless to say, I was a little disappointed. Now, I know the old adage that every audience is different and sometimes you can just have a crowd that just doesn't get into anything you give them, but these were the stories that have never - to date - really failed me to garner the overwhelming approval of those I was speaking to. Sure, I have some weaker material that I've learned never to open with, but to save until the audience get's to know me, but I didn't even bring any of that out last night.
And then, I get to the banjo song - material I've never used before - and they really seemed to like it. I did a little sing-a-long, and it seemed to be the most well recieved part of what I offered them.
Frustrated, I hopped back in the car, and began the two hour drive home with nothing to think about other than how some shows can just seem to go so off track.
I consider myself a pretty versatile speaker. I can do stand-up. I can give Christian talks and sermons. I can mix a little stand-up with a little Christian message. I've also been doing quite a bit of poetry and prose reading performances. But I'm beginning to feel like it may be time to prune back a little bit.
Straight stand-up has been very good to me. It's how I got my start, and how I've paid a lot of bills over the last few years, but I'll be the first to admit that it's the hardest of all the things I do. I've always seemed to follow a rythm with stand-up - I'll have one fantastic show, and then one mediocre one. I usually hit around 50/50, which, in stand-up, is considered pretty good. And while the bad shows are always a tough pill to swallow, the great ones always make up for them. But for most of this year, I'm probably closer to 10/90, (the 90 being "mediocre" or less in my opinion) leaving me to wonder how much longer it's really worth offering myself up as a straight comic.
I also have to admit that doing the old material - the "gold" stories and such - is not nearly as much fun as it used to be. Most of the writing and creating I've been doing lately has been more focused on the prose, poetry, and Christian message talks. So maybe it's time to hang up the stand-up hat for awhile.
A couple notes on some unrelated subjects.
I just got an email from good friend and part-time ministry partner Mark Elgersma who says several new CD's and a possible DVD from this summer's SERVE project in Sioux Falls are nearly finished. They're recordings of the night time worship services that we had all week, and I'm pretty excited to hear them. We've been wanting to put together some more promotional material to get my stuff out there, and luckily there was a great guy named Brian at SERVE who had the tools to do it. (Note to self, get in touch with Brian soon and give him a big thank you.)
There's a chance the CD's will be made for more than just trying to get more speaking engagements, and we'll end up offering them to the public - which would be really great if it all fell in place. I've had a couple different versions of a comedy CD for a few years now, and I've been waiting to branch out a bit and record some more serious stuff. We're hoping this is the opportunity we've been waiting for. I haven't heard the CD's yet, but I've heard they'll be in the mail soon, so I'm very excited to get my hands on them!
My next show is on Tuesday, August 30th, and that was the next time I was planning on updating the blog, but I've gotten a few requests to update a little more often. I'm thinking about maybe updating once a week, instead of just a couple times a month. I'm not exactly sure what these writings will be, since I generally just update after speaking engagements, but perhaps I can spend some time writing about what I'm currently working on creatively, and how I'm preparing for the next speaking gig.
Till next time,
Jason
I did a half hour show last night for an audience that I've never been in front of before. I was excited going into the evening because the show had the potential to lead to many more shows if it went well. So, I decided that to make sure I put my best foot forward I would tell my three most popular stories - Oogey Boogey, Finger, and Puke. These are the three stories that regardless of where I am, or what I'm doing, they tend to go over very well. These are the stories I pull out when I'm nervous about an audience because they tend to be "gold" material for me.
So last night, for this new audience that I wanted to impress, I called on these tried and true favorites for the first twenty five minutes of the show. The last five minutes, I planned on doing something most comedians will do from time to time - I was going to try out a little new material. I've had my Grandpa Kain's old four string tenor banjo for a couple years now, and I've been slowly trying to work out ways to use it when I perform or speak. Well, I worked out a new comedy song (which I'm pretty happy with) and planned on trying it out at the end of the show last night after hopefully getting some big laughs with my old stories.
Well, about five minutes into the show, I knew it wasn't going to be a great night. Instead of big laughs like usual for these stories, I was getting mild and polite chuckles. Even on the big payoff lines of the stories, lines that have gotten raucous cheers and doubled-over laughing from some audiences, I recieved quite subdued laughter.
Needless to say, I was a little disappointed. Now, I know the old adage that every audience is different and sometimes you can just have a crowd that just doesn't get into anything you give them, but these were the stories that have never - to date - really failed me to garner the overwhelming approval of those I was speaking to. Sure, I have some weaker material that I've learned never to open with, but to save until the audience get's to know me, but I didn't even bring any of that out last night.
And then, I get to the banjo song - material I've never used before - and they really seemed to like it. I did a little sing-a-long, and it seemed to be the most well recieved part of what I offered them.
Frustrated, I hopped back in the car, and began the two hour drive home with nothing to think about other than how some shows can just seem to go so off track.
I consider myself a pretty versatile speaker. I can do stand-up. I can give Christian talks and sermons. I can mix a little stand-up with a little Christian message. I've also been doing quite a bit of poetry and prose reading performances. But I'm beginning to feel like it may be time to prune back a little bit.
Straight stand-up has been very good to me. It's how I got my start, and how I've paid a lot of bills over the last few years, but I'll be the first to admit that it's the hardest of all the things I do. I've always seemed to follow a rythm with stand-up - I'll have one fantastic show, and then one mediocre one. I usually hit around 50/50, which, in stand-up, is considered pretty good. And while the bad shows are always a tough pill to swallow, the great ones always make up for them. But for most of this year, I'm probably closer to 10/90, (the 90 being "mediocre" or less in my opinion) leaving me to wonder how much longer it's really worth offering myself up as a straight comic.
I also have to admit that doing the old material - the "gold" stories and such - is not nearly as much fun as it used to be. Most of the writing and creating I've been doing lately has been more focused on the prose, poetry, and Christian message talks. So maybe it's time to hang up the stand-up hat for awhile.
A couple notes on some unrelated subjects.
I just got an email from good friend and part-time ministry partner Mark Elgersma who says several new CD's and a possible DVD from this summer's SERVE project in Sioux Falls are nearly finished. They're recordings of the night time worship services that we had all week, and I'm pretty excited to hear them. We've been wanting to put together some more promotional material to get my stuff out there, and luckily there was a great guy named Brian at SERVE who had the tools to do it. (Note to self, get in touch with Brian soon and give him a big thank you.)
There's a chance the CD's will be made for more than just trying to get more speaking engagements, and we'll end up offering them to the public - which would be really great if it all fell in place. I've had a couple different versions of a comedy CD for a few years now, and I've been waiting to branch out a bit and record some more serious stuff. We're hoping this is the opportunity we've been waiting for. I haven't heard the CD's yet, but I've heard they'll be in the mail soon, so I'm very excited to get my hands on them!
My next show is on Tuesday, August 30th, and that was the next time I was planning on updating the blog, but I've gotten a few requests to update a little more often. I'm thinking about maybe updating once a week, instead of just a couple times a month. I'm not exactly sure what these writings will be, since I generally just update after speaking engagements, but perhaps I can spend some time writing about what I'm currently working on creatively, and how I'm preparing for the next speaking gig.
Till next time,
Jason
Thursday, August 11, 2005
On Broadway
So my church (Second Reformed Church) is located on a street called Broadway in Pella, IA, and a while back, someone got the clever idea to host arts and entertainment events through the church and call them "On Broadway". Throughout the year, they've hosted various musicians and speakers to come and entertain, and last night, they were gracious enough to host me in the "On Broadway: Curtain Call".
They actually hosted more than just me. The event really took place in three different locations. A quartet and a duet of singers performed in the Pastors' backyard. A showtune sing-a-long took place on the front lawn of the church. And I performed some of my poetry in the backyard of Arvin and Connie Bandstra (two members of our congregation with an amazing backyard filled with all sorts of beautiful gardens).
It was a progressive evening of entertainment - meaning - that if you bought a ticket, you would start in one of the three locations, watch a twenty minute performance by the entertainers, and then head to the next location for another performance, and then the next. So in all, each performance had to be done three separate times, for three separate audiences, which suited me just fine since I like to inflict my poems on as many people as possible.
I had a fantastic evening. Food was served at each location, and the poems went over quite well. (Although my second audience of the night seemed a little sleepy.) Everything got laughs in the appropriate places, and many wonderful folks gave me great comments after each performance. The backyard I performed in was, in my opinion, the most beautiful. The entire yard has pretty much been turned into a large series of gardens, complete with a small pond of goldfish on the patio.
The only real downfall of the evening was when a very nice lady accidnetally backed into the driver door of my car and put a pretty good dent in it. Oh well, these things happen.
And so, for you reading entertainment, I present to you the poems performed last night (minus the ones that have been previously printed on this site.) Enjoy.
The Best Day in School We Ever Had
I knew a little boy once,
Who’d eat anything you had,
He’d eat it if it tasted good,
Or if it tasted bad.
All my friends thought this was great,
So we’d give him things to chew,
It might be a handful of dirt,
Or’a jar of Elmer’s glue.
But he’d eat them and he’d smile,
He would laugh and say “You see,
You feed me anything you like,
I’m always hungry!”
One day while I was sitting,
Just in front of him one seat,
He said his stomach was grumbling,
And needed food to eat.
I was out of erasers,
And all of my glue was gone,
The only thing that I had left,
Was my box of new crayons.
I turned around with the gift,
To see if he wanted some,
He took the whole box right away,
And gobbled the first one.
Then he gobbled down the next,
Then another was his snack,
He worked his way from the white one,
Through the whole box to black.
He sat back full and content,
With a smile that widened far,
You would have thought they’d been cookies,
Or little candy bars.
And yet, ten minutes later,
During our geography,
I heard him give a little moan,
And lean up next to me.
He said he didn’t feel good,
The crayons didn’t agree,
He said he needed the bathroom,
“It’s an emergency.”
If it was that bad I said,
Then he should just raise his hand,
The teacher would then let him go,
It sounded like a plan.
But our teacher was well known,
To have been a little mean,
As he raised his hand she acted,
As if she hadn’t seen.
He said, “What do I do now?”
As I tried to read my book,
I said, “You have to say her name,
And just get her to look.”
“If she hears her name get called,
Then she’ll have to see your hand,
Then you can ask to be excused,
And she’ll have to say you can.”
He put up his hand again,
And he said her name quite loud,
She looked at him as if he’d cursed,
And gave him her best scowl.
“You don’t speak out in this class!”
Then her face went all askew,
“You don’t speak out, no not at all,
Unless I call on you!”
He whispered, “What do I do?”
And his fear began to show,
I said, “Tell her it’s serious,
She’ll have to let you go.”
He said, “Really? Is that true?”
I said, “Yeah, cause it’s a rule!
Or maybe a state law I think,
It’s binding for all schools.
We all watched him leave his desk
And walk right up next to her,
It was like she didn’t see him,
I wasn’t really sure.
He waited for two minutes,
Then he shuffled in his place,
He finally dared to say her name,
And flames shot out her face.
She screamed because he’d dare move,
And speak without her say so,
She turned and lectured the whole class,
It was almost painful.
She said, “You see, now there are rules,
I post at the first quarter,
If you cannot follow them it’s
Chaos and not order!”
“What would happen to this class,
If everyone talked at will,
Everything would just go haywire,
That’s why rules are instilled!”
Then she turned back to my friend,
Who now had started to sob,
She said, “Okay now what’d you need,
Our class time you have robbed.”
He stood up straight and said, “Ma’am,
I think I might need to go,”
But just then he threw up on her,
It looked like a rainbow.
Then she seemed to lose her mind,
And a scream came out of her,
She grabbed him and ran from the room,
It seemed like such a blur.
All twas left was just us kids,
There was this horrible smell,
And that’s what set more retching off,
As far as I could tell.
Of twenty-five kids that day,
Only one did not throw up,
And I was not the lucky one,
My stomach did erupt.
A teacher came ‘cross the hall,
To see what was the uproar,
And though she tried hard to fight it,
She threw up at the door.
Legend says that wasn’t all,
Cause then the janitor came,
And some kids still to this day say,
He fared about the same.
Yet, though through all the sickness,
Not one of the kids did pout,
No one dared complain too much cause,
We got an early out.
Stan
Once there was a man named Stan,
Who worked on a drill press,
Old Stan he was a factory man,
He’s just like all the rest.
But you’ll see that Stan is shy,
Some fingers on one hand,
And there’s a real good reason why,
Stan is a dreaming man.
When old Stan would start to drill,
His mind would just get lost,
He’d dream of some imagined thrill-
And a finger’d be the cost.
Once Stan dreamt he was a king,
His wife a gorgeous queen,
Before he’d stopped to really think,
His thumb was severed clean.
Once Stan dreamt he drove race cars,
His mind really lingered,
Before he’d even gone that far,
He’d shear ‘doff his first finger.
Once Stan dreamt he played football,
And that was kind of fun,
The referee’s gave him good calls-
Stan lost the middle one.
Once Stan dreamt he was a mime,
With quick, expressive hands-
He lost the finger fourth in line,
The one for wedding bands.
Now there’s but the pinky left,
You’d think that Stan would quit,
You’d think he’d be a tad bereft-
He doesn’t care a bit.
Now he drills with his right hand,
And even though he’s slow,
With that left pinky he still can,
Hold smokes and pick his nose.
One day Stan may lose the rest,
And then he might relax,
Until then Stan’ll be the best,
At picking out earwax.
Farm Dog
We’ve got this dog here on the farm,
Who really has a unique charm,
He’s rather nice to have with me,
When I long for some company.
The problem is he’s kind of slow,
And I’m not sure he really knows,
That when our Lord passed out dog brains,
He must have been asleep that day.
When strangers come out to my place,
The dog just stares off into space.
But if old friends are coming in,
He’ll likely try to attack them.
He’s like a goat in appetite,
He’ll eat a frog in just one bite,
I even saw him eat some nails,
Then walk away and wag his tail.
And yes, he sleeps in the driveway,
No matter what we try to say,
We have to drag him to the side,
To get our pickup truck on by.
Yet though you’ll hear me gripe and moan,
A better dog I couldn’t own,
So maybe I’ll go pet him soon,
And use the hand without bite wounds.
The Squir'l
A squir’l ran out before my car,
Ten yards or so, not all that far,
His life I knew I’d surely mar,
If I might hit him with my car.
The first thing I thought was to swerve,
I knew that if I kept my nerve,
And around the squir’l made a curve,
I might pull off a des’prate swerve.
I thought I’d drive a little right,
And hopefully change this squir’l’s plight,
But try as hard as I just might,
He also chose to then run right.
I then thought left would work you see,
Although it was much more risky,
I’d have to miss a large oak tree,
But the squir’l’s life I’d save, you see.
But I didn’t know what to do,
Cause when I went left – he did too,
And so that’s when I really knew,
This squir'l must think just like I do.
And so I just drove straight ahead,
A little prayer I quickly said,
To now not turn the pavement red,
Hoping he’d duck his little head.
I looked back in my rearview mirror,
To check out the squir’l at my rear,
And I let out a little cheer,
I saw him standing in the mirror.
He looked at me with happiness,
Though ‘twas short lived I must confess,
The car behind made him a mess,
Which sort of damped my happiness.
The Story
My wife let out a scream one day,
While I was watching some TV,
It was such a sound of trouble,
That I leapt up to my feet.
Her noise was very frightening,
And the sound put my nerves on edge,
Some mugger must have broken in,
And was holding her hostage.
The noise came out the bathroom door,
So I ran as fast as I could,
To place my body between hers,
And this doer of no good!
When I reached my destination,
I found no threat’ning outsider,
Just my wife . . . she was pointing at,
A large, brown, hairy spider.
“Kill it!” she said, as she backed up,
Of my brav’ry she was quite sure,
But what I didn’t tell her was,
That I was more scared than her.
Yet I put on my toughest face,
Like I wasn’t scared in the least,
Reached back and said, “Hand me something,
With which I can kill this beast!”
At this point she put in my hand,
Something that I knew wouldn’t do,
To go to battle for my life,
She’d handed me a tissue.
Now I don’t think she was trying,
To go and get me killed you see,
I think wives just don’t understand,
The right choice of weaponry.
The spider then started to move,
I knew that I had to be fast,
I grabbed the head off the shower,
And cranked the water full blast.
I guess you could say I panicked,
As I chased it around the room,
Up, and down, and around the tub,
Til finally it ran to its doom.
And there I washed it down the drain,
And then keeping the pressure on,
I took a bottle of shampoo,
And I squeezed till it was gone.
I thought I’d drown or poison him,
Either way, the job would be done,
I turned to look back at my wife,
She was having lots of fun.
While I was risking my own life,
To protect my love from her death,
She was doubled laughing so hard,
That she’d almost lost her breath.
“Oh! That was so hilarious!”
She said of my near-death escape,
“I wish I’d had the camera,
To get the whole thing on tape!”
And now she tells most everyone,
About this infamous day,
And every time they laugh so hard,
I just walk the other way.
Questions
People always ask me,
Who mean such little harm,
About my days when I grew up,
On a small remote pig farm.
They have silly questions,
Always taking pity,
They just don’t seem to understand,
(They grew up in the city.)
I had a girlfriend ask,
About where our pigs roamed,
Did we keep them penned up outside,
Did they come into our home?
“Yes, yes,” I answered back,
“They come in all the time,
They sleep right next to me in bed,
And they like it mighty fine.”
A fella from New York,
Once asked me a strange thing,
Did we still use those outhouses,
Or have that indoor plumbing?
I told him, “We had both,
But we prefer outdoors,
Cause hearing all those outdoor sounds,
Can help nature take its course.”
One girl from Chicago,
Asked me about my school,
Did we get there on our tractors,
Or maybe ride a mule.
I said, “Oh, it’s the mule,
But sometimes he might balk,
And if the cows won’t let us ride,
Then we sometimes have to walk.”
And there is my fav’rite,
I get where’ere I go,
Now isn’t Iowa the state,
That is known for potatoes?
“Oh! Potatoes?” I say,
Not letting anger show,
“I think you might have us confused,
With those folks in Ohio.”
They nod and walk away,
And seem quite satisfied,
And I don’t feel much for the worse,
Cause they’re only small white lies.
I think it’s just their loss,
And I have a small fear,
If those dopes knew how good it was,
They’d consider moving here.
Where I’d Rather Be . . .
I’d rather be a pirate,
Sailing on the seven seas,
I think that it would feel good,
Living just as I would please.
I’d get up when I want to,
And I’d go to bed quite late,
I’d ride up in the crow’s nest,
And I’d drink with my first mate.
And if some guy had treasure,
It’d only be my duty,
To take my boat right to him,
And steal all of his booty.
If somebody messed with me,
A bad fate would befall them,
Laughing, I would grab their neck,
And then I’d keel haul them.
(Now I’m not exactly sure,
How to keel haul some one,
I will have to look it up,
But it sounds like lots of fun.)
And then there are the wenches,
That all pirates seem to get,
I don’t know where they come from,
But I’ll have a few I bet.
People would call me swarthy,
And I’d get to shout, “Avast!”
A flag of skull and cross bones,
Would hang high upon my mast.
Maybe even best of all,
I can lose a couple pounds,
Because a heavy pirate,
Is seldom to be found.
So that’s all I could ask for,
Booty, wenches, and my crew,
Sailing out there on my ship –
Pirate pants . . . size thirty-two!
till next time,
Jason
They actually hosted more than just me. The event really took place in three different locations. A quartet and a duet of singers performed in the Pastors' backyard. A showtune sing-a-long took place on the front lawn of the church. And I performed some of my poetry in the backyard of Arvin and Connie Bandstra (two members of our congregation with an amazing backyard filled with all sorts of beautiful gardens).
It was a progressive evening of entertainment - meaning - that if you bought a ticket, you would start in one of the three locations, watch a twenty minute performance by the entertainers, and then head to the next location for another performance, and then the next. So in all, each performance had to be done three separate times, for three separate audiences, which suited me just fine since I like to inflict my poems on as many people as possible.
I had a fantastic evening. Food was served at each location, and the poems went over quite well. (Although my second audience of the night seemed a little sleepy.) Everything got laughs in the appropriate places, and many wonderful folks gave me great comments after each performance. The backyard I performed in was, in my opinion, the most beautiful. The entire yard has pretty much been turned into a large series of gardens, complete with a small pond of goldfish on the patio.
The only real downfall of the evening was when a very nice lady accidnetally backed into the driver door of my car and put a pretty good dent in it. Oh well, these things happen.
And so, for you reading entertainment, I present to you the poems performed last night (minus the ones that have been previously printed on this site.) Enjoy.
The Best Day in School We Ever Had
I knew a little boy once,
Who’d eat anything you had,
He’d eat it if it tasted good,
Or if it tasted bad.
All my friends thought this was great,
So we’d give him things to chew,
It might be a handful of dirt,
Or’a jar of Elmer’s glue.
But he’d eat them and he’d smile,
He would laugh and say “You see,
You feed me anything you like,
I’m always hungry!”
One day while I was sitting,
Just in front of him one seat,
He said his stomach was grumbling,
And needed food to eat.
I was out of erasers,
And all of my glue was gone,
The only thing that I had left,
Was my box of new crayons.
I turned around with the gift,
To see if he wanted some,
He took the whole box right away,
And gobbled the first one.
Then he gobbled down the next,
Then another was his snack,
He worked his way from the white one,
Through the whole box to black.
He sat back full and content,
With a smile that widened far,
You would have thought they’d been cookies,
Or little candy bars.
And yet, ten minutes later,
During our geography,
I heard him give a little moan,
And lean up next to me.
He said he didn’t feel good,
The crayons didn’t agree,
He said he needed the bathroom,
“It’s an emergency.”
If it was that bad I said,
Then he should just raise his hand,
The teacher would then let him go,
It sounded like a plan.
But our teacher was well known,
To have been a little mean,
As he raised his hand she acted,
As if she hadn’t seen.
He said, “What do I do now?”
As I tried to read my book,
I said, “You have to say her name,
And just get her to look.”
“If she hears her name get called,
Then she’ll have to see your hand,
Then you can ask to be excused,
And she’ll have to say you can.”
He put up his hand again,
And he said her name quite loud,
She looked at him as if he’d cursed,
And gave him her best scowl.
“You don’t speak out in this class!”
Then her face went all askew,
“You don’t speak out, no not at all,
Unless I call on you!”
He whispered, “What do I do?”
And his fear began to show,
I said, “Tell her it’s serious,
She’ll have to let you go.”
He said, “Really? Is that true?”
I said, “Yeah, cause it’s a rule!
Or maybe a state law I think,
It’s binding for all schools.
We all watched him leave his desk
And walk right up next to her,
It was like she didn’t see him,
I wasn’t really sure.
He waited for two minutes,
Then he shuffled in his place,
He finally dared to say her name,
And flames shot out her face.
She screamed because he’d dare move,
And speak without her say so,
She turned and lectured the whole class,
It was almost painful.
She said, “You see, now there are rules,
I post at the first quarter,
If you cannot follow them it’s
Chaos and not order!”
“What would happen to this class,
If everyone talked at will,
Everything would just go haywire,
That’s why rules are instilled!”
Then she turned back to my friend,
Who now had started to sob,
She said, “Okay now what’d you need,
Our class time you have robbed.”
He stood up straight and said, “Ma’am,
I think I might need to go,”
But just then he threw up on her,
It looked like a rainbow.
Then she seemed to lose her mind,
And a scream came out of her,
She grabbed him and ran from the room,
It seemed like such a blur.
All twas left was just us kids,
There was this horrible smell,
And that’s what set more retching off,
As far as I could tell.
Of twenty-five kids that day,
Only one did not throw up,
And I was not the lucky one,
My stomach did erupt.
A teacher came ‘cross the hall,
To see what was the uproar,
And though she tried hard to fight it,
She threw up at the door.
Legend says that wasn’t all,
Cause then the janitor came,
And some kids still to this day say,
He fared about the same.
Yet, though through all the sickness,
Not one of the kids did pout,
No one dared complain too much cause,
We got an early out.
Stan
Once there was a man named Stan,
Who worked on a drill press,
Old Stan he was a factory man,
He’s just like all the rest.
But you’ll see that Stan is shy,
Some fingers on one hand,
And there’s a real good reason why,
Stan is a dreaming man.
When old Stan would start to drill,
His mind would just get lost,
He’d dream of some imagined thrill-
And a finger’d be the cost.
Once Stan dreamt he was a king,
His wife a gorgeous queen,
Before he’d stopped to really think,
His thumb was severed clean.
Once Stan dreamt he drove race cars,
His mind really lingered,
Before he’d even gone that far,
He’d shear ‘doff his first finger.
Once Stan dreamt he played football,
And that was kind of fun,
The referee’s gave him good calls-
Stan lost the middle one.
Once Stan dreamt he was a mime,
With quick, expressive hands-
He lost the finger fourth in line,
The one for wedding bands.
Now there’s but the pinky left,
You’d think that Stan would quit,
You’d think he’d be a tad bereft-
He doesn’t care a bit.
Now he drills with his right hand,
And even though he’s slow,
With that left pinky he still can,
Hold smokes and pick his nose.
One day Stan may lose the rest,
And then he might relax,
Until then Stan’ll be the best,
At picking out earwax.
Farm Dog
We’ve got this dog here on the farm,
Who really has a unique charm,
He’s rather nice to have with me,
When I long for some company.
The problem is he’s kind of slow,
And I’m not sure he really knows,
That when our Lord passed out dog brains,
He must have been asleep that day.
When strangers come out to my place,
The dog just stares off into space.
But if old friends are coming in,
He’ll likely try to attack them.
He’s like a goat in appetite,
He’ll eat a frog in just one bite,
I even saw him eat some nails,
Then walk away and wag his tail.
And yes, he sleeps in the driveway,
No matter what we try to say,
We have to drag him to the side,
To get our pickup truck on by.
Yet though you’ll hear me gripe and moan,
A better dog I couldn’t own,
So maybe I’ll go pet him soon,
And use the hand without bite wounds.
The Squir'l
A squir’l ran out before my car,
Ten yards or so, not all that far,
His life I knew I’d surely mar,
If I might hit him with my car.
The first thing I thought was to swerve,
I knew that if I kept my nerve,
And around the squir’l made a curve,
I might pull off a des’prate swerve.
I thought I’d drive a little right,
And hopefully change this squir’l’s plight,
But try as hard as I just might,
He also chose to then run right.
I then thought left would work you see,
Although it was much more risky,
I’d have to miss a large oak tree,
But the squir’l’s life I’d save, you see.
But I didn’t know what to do,
Cause when I went left – he did too,
And so that’s when I really knew,
This squir'l must think just like I do.
And so I just drove straight ahead,
A little prayer I quickly said,
To now not turn the pavement red,
Hoping he’d duck his little head.
I looked back in my rearview mirror,
To check out the squir’l at my rear,
And I let out a little cheer,
I saw him standing in the mirror.
He looked at me with happiness,
Though ‘twas short lived I must confess,
The car behind made him a mess,
Which sort of damped my happiness.
The Story
My wife let out a scream one day,
While I was watching some TV,
It was such a sound of trouble,
That I leapt up to my feet.
Her noise was very frightening,
And the sound put my nerves on edge,
Some mugger must have broken in,
And was holding her hostage.
The noise came out the bathroom door,
So I ran as fast as I could,
To place my body between hers,
And this doer of no good!
When I reached my destination,
I found no threat’ning outsider,
Just my wife . . . she was pointing at,
A large, brown, hairy spider.
“Kill it!” she said, as she backed up,
Of my brav’ry she was quite sure,
But what I didn’t tell her was,
That I was more scared than her.
Yet I put on my toughest face,
Like I wasn’t scared in the least,
Reached back and said, “Hand me something,
With which I can kill this beast!”
At this point she put in my hand,
Something that I knew wouldn’t do,
To go to battle for my life,
She’d handed me a tissue.
Now I don’t think she was trying,
To go and get me killed you see,
I think wives just don’t understand,
The right choice of weaponry.
The spider then started to move,
I knew that I had to be fast,
I grabbed the head off the shower,
And cranked the water full blast.
I guess you could say I panicked,
As I chased it around the room,
Up, and down, and around the tub,
Til finally it ran to its doom.
And there I washed it down the drain,
And then keeping the pressure on,
I took a bottle of shampoo,
And I squeezed till it was gone.
I thought I’d drown or poison him,
Either way, the job would be done,
I turned to look back at my wife,
She was having lots of fun.
While I was risking my own life,
To protect my love from her death,
She was doubled laughing so hard,
That she’d almost lost her breath.
“Oh! That was so hilarious!”
She said of my near-death escape,
“I wish I’d had the camera,
To get the whole thing on tape!”
And now she tells most everyone,
About this infamous day,
And every time they laugh so hard,
I just walk the other way.
Questions
People always ask me,
Who mean such little harm,
About my days when I grew up,
On a small remote pig farm.
They have silly questions,
Always taking pity,
They just don’t seem to understand,
(They grew up in the city.)
I had a girlfriend ask,
About where our pigs roamed,
Did we keep them penned up outside,
Did they come into our home?
“Yes, yes,” I answered back,
“They come in all the time,
They sleep right next to me in bed,
And they like it mighty fine.”
A fella from New York,
Once asked me a strange thing,
Did we still use those outhouses,
Or have that indoor plumbing?
I told him, “We had both,
But we prefer outdoors,
Cause hearing all those outdoor sounds,
Can help nature take its course.”
One girl from Chicago,
Asked me about my school,
Did we get there on our tractors,
Or maybe ride a mule.
I said, “Oh, it’s the mule,
But sometimes he might balk,
And if the cows won’t let us ride,
Then we sometimes have to walk.”
And there is my fav’rite,
I get where’ere I go,
Now isn’t Iowa the state,
That is known for potatoes?
“Oh! Potatoes?” I say,
Not letting anger show,
“I think you might have us confused,
With those folks in Ohio.”
They nod and walk away,
And seem quite satisfied,
And I don’t feel much for the worse,
Cause they’re only small white lies.
I think it’s just their loss,
And I have a small fear,
If those dopes knew how good it was,
They’d consider moving here.
Where I’d Rather Be . . .
I’d rather be a pirate,
Sailing on the seven seas,
I think that it would feel good,
Living just as I would please.
I’d get up when I want to,
And I’d go to bed quite late,
I’d ride up in the crow’s nest,
And I’d drink with my first mate.
And if some guy had treasure,
It’d only be my duty,
To take my boat right to him,
And steal all of his booty.
If somebody messed with me,
A bad fate would befall them,
Laughing, I would grab their neck,
And then I’d keel haul them.
(Now I’m not exactly sure,
How to keel haul some one,
I will have to look it up,
But it sounds like lots of fun.)
And then there are the wenches,
That all pirates seem to get,
I don’t know where they come from,
But I’ll have a few I bet.
People would call me swarthy,
And I’d get to shout, “Avast!”
A flag of skull and cross bones,
Would hang high upon my mast.
Maybe even best of all,
I can lose a couple pounds,
Because a heavy pirate,
Is seldom to be found.
So that’s all I could ask for,
Booty, wenches, and my crew,
Sailing out there on my ship –
Pirate pants . . . size thirty-two!
till next time,
Jason
Sunday, July 17, 2005
The Wedding Singer
Over the last couple of summer's, I've found myself performing / speaking at the occasional wedding. Andrea and I had two comedians, and good friends, perform at our wedding. And more and more I'm seeing the trend take off!
Last night, brother-in-law Kyle and I sang a new song entitled "Keep Quiet" for Kyle's new brother-in-law Rob Whitam at his wedding to Kyle's sister Jill. It was a beautiful wedding (short and beautiful), and a great reception. People seemed to take to the song really well, and I think Kyle and I should think about going professional in the wedding singing career. While the lyrics to our song were original, I will admit that the chording came from Johnny Cash's Drive On. (Which, in its original form, is probably not a wedding-appropriate song.)
I've never made it a secret that weddings aren't always my favorite place to be. And during the afternoon yesterday, the thought kept running through my head, "Because these two people fell in love two years ago, I'm sitting in a long sleeved shirt in the middle of July!" But it was worth it! Congratulations Jill and Rob.
Till next time,
Jason
Last night, brother-in-law Kyle and I sang a new song entitled "Keep Quiet" for Kyle's new brother-in-law Rob Whitam at his wedding to Kyle's sister Jill. It was a beautiful wedding (short and beautiful), and a great reception. People seemed to take to the song really well, and I think Kyle and I should think about going professional in the wedding singing career. While the lyrics to our song were original, I will admit that the chording came from Johnny Cash's Drive On. (Which, in its original form, is probably not a wedding-appropriate song.)
I've never made it a secret that weddings aren't always my favorite place to be. And during the afternoon yesterday, the thought kept running through my head, "Because these two people fell in love two years ago, I'm sitting in a long sleeved shirt in the middle of July!" But it was worth it! Congratulations Jill and Rob.
Till next time,
Jason
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Mr. Wonderful Meets Mr. Wonderful?
Attended the "Night of Legends" at the Newton High School last night in honor of the new inductees to the wrestling hall of fame (also in Newton, IA). Got to meet some of the greats and see old favorite Rick Steiner wrestle! When good friend Jenny Hedrick called and told me her fiancee Tracy had a ticket for me, I had no idea how cool it'd be.
This is me with "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff. A real big thrill for me. If you look close, you can see him giving me a stiff pat on the back. He was a really nice guy and acted like it was just as big a thrill for him to be in the picture as it was for me.
This is me with "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff. A real big thrill for me. If you look close, you can see him giving me a stiff pat on the back. He was a really nice guy and acted like it was just as big a thrill for him to be in the picture as it was for me.
This is me with Larry "The Axe" Hennig.
A real treat for me was getting to shake hands with the great NCAA and Olympic wrestler Danny Hodge. He was quite a character and the most fun guy to meet.
The man himself, "Handsome" Harley Race! And he's holding a newly autographed present for my brother's birthday.
Another real treat was getting to meet current WWE employee, and one time "Stooge" Gerald Briscoe who was being inducted this weekend. He seems a lot smarter than what they portrayed on TV. Go figure. (And if you look in the bottom right of the photo, you can just see Bob Geigel.)
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Just a little thing
Someone complained to me that only registered bloggers can comment on my site and they wondered if that was changeable. I said, "I uh wha, maybe." well it is. and it has been. so you can try now if you'd like.
jason
jason
SERVE Part VI
Here's the poem by Meghan Gage. (Although it's not the one from SERVE, but the one she wrote about SERVE when she spoke in front of her church.) Thanks for the great email, Meghan!
Dear Lord,
I came to Project Serve to see through your eyes
I came with problems I then lay before you
I met many new people along the way
I’ve learned to follow your path & praise your name
I worshiped you in many ways
I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, sung songs, and danced
I boxed & weighed food in a hot musty warehouse
I worked for hours on end on a run down trailer
In this trailer, I met two beautiful young girls too afraid to stay home
For they knew what would happen if left alone
I became your Nehemiah, weary and meek
Yet throughout the whole week, no matter how tired burnt, or sore
I grew & became stronger all through you Lord
There aren’t enough words to express my gratitude so I say this:
Thank you Lord, for all you do & all you’ve given me.
Amen
Dear Lord,
I came to Project Serve to see through your eyes
I came with problems I then lay before you
I met many new people along the way
I’ve learned to follow your path & praise your name
I worshiped you in many ways
I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, sung songs, and danced
I boxed & weighed food in a hot musty warehouse
I worked for hours on end on a run down trailer
In this trailer, I met two beautiful young girls too afraid to stay home
For they knew what would happen if left alone
I became your Nehemiah, weary and meek
Yet throughout the whole week, no matter how tired burnt, or sore
I grew & became stronger all through you Lord
There aren’t enough words to express my gratitude so I say this:
Thank you Lord, for all you do & all you’ve given me.
Amen
Saturday, July 02, 2005
SERVE Part V
Hey, got some great images from running partner Lauren! As you can tell by my pictures with Lauren and Meghan, I am in fact seven feet tall.
This second shot comes from telling the "puke" story. If you look down just beneath my left shirt sleeve, you'll see the outline of what looks like a chimpanzee crouching in front of the window. That's Danny. Troy is the gigantic shadow of a man on the far right of the picture. Thanks Lauren!
This second shot comes from telling the "puke" story. If you look down just beneath my left shirt sleeve, you'll see the outline of what looks like a chimpanzee crouching in front of the window. That's Danny. Troy is the gigantic shadow of a man on the far right of the picture. Thanks Lauren!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
SERVE Part IV
So, what do you do when you're sitting around on a Wednesday afternoon and sulking over the lack of SERVE? You get an email from Meghan Gage of course! And she reminds you how much fun you had and how hard it can be to go home after a week in God's presence. Home is only home if you make it that way, right? Plus, she sends you a cool picture. (I'm not exactly sure what's around her arms. It might be a straight jacket!) Thank you Meghan! You are the best!
SERVE Part III
The last and final SERVE post more than likely. Talked to Dustin last night on the phone and he and I both seem to be going through a similar post-SERVE funk. Although, I'll admit that mine's not as bad as last years. Everything went so great this time, that I'm still riding a pretty big SERVE high.
So what is there left to tell. Too much I'm afraid, so I'll just try to pull out a few more of the highlights from the week.
Poemetry
Well, as many know, I've been trying my hand at poetry writing for the last several months. On the first night of SERVE, I was playing prayer-partner-substitute for one of the prayer partners that couldn't make it to pray with their server, and I got paired up with a great young lady named Meghan Gage from Chicago. Turns out she's an aspiring poet as well, so I challenged her to write one by the end of the week, and then read it in the final worship. She did, and it was magnificent. I shall have to grab it out of my still packed suitcase and post it up here sometime soon. Yet, as great of a poet as she was, she did get a little feisty when I asked her to play Queen Jezebel. But oh well, Jezebel was pretty evil I guess. So, in a way, Meghan really nailed the part. Hope to hear from you soon Meghan!
Running
I've been running since the February / March portion of this year. Not a ton, just two or three miles a day - trying to remember what my body used to look like before five years of college and another five of youth directing. Well, lo and behold, I meet a young lady by the name of Lauren Hoag who's quite the runner herself and so we had a great two mile venture during the middle of the week. Unfortunately, even though Lauren wanted to run again, I had the very bad habit of staying up way too late with the boys at SERVE, and only made that one run. Sorry Lauren.
Staying Up Way Too Late With the Boys at SERVE
So we'd hit the hay around midnight or one, yet the chats and horseplay just kept on going. Things were flung around the room. Flashlights were use to put people in the "Hotseat" (a position where, if in the light, you had to answer any question asked), and many laughs were had by all. Was it worth it? Most definitely. I only wish the gals hadn't gotten so jealous at how much fun we guys had every night. My favorite night, of course, ended with me lullaby-ing the boys to sleep with a little four string tenor banjo.
More Than Meets the Eye
Part of the theme for the week was about using your spiritual gifts. So Dawn, the spiritual director extraordinaire that she is, had wrapped gifts for me to open every night right before my talk. Inside each gift was an object that had something to do with the talk that night. On the first night, I lamented to the group, as I opened the gift, that I sure hoped there'd be a new Transformer in one of these things during the week. Lo and behold, someone takes my joke seriously, and during my last talk on Friday night, what do I pull out of the gift, but a brand new Transformer from Small Group #3. He's a jetplane, and his name is Terradive, and I've played with him every day since.
Z.Z.
For the second year in a row I was blessed to have Zach Zomerman attend the SERVE where I was speaking. Zach is an amazing guy from Orange City who also attended the RISE Above Music Festival and schooled some folks in the Sioux City Wheelers basketball demonstration. Zach played Elisha to my Elijah on Thursday night, and did a great job. I've heard through the grapevine that he might be at the next SERVE as a volunteer on the host team, and I'm pretty pumped if that all falls into place.
Worksites
Well, Luke really out did himself again this year finding some awesome worksites for all the servers to take part in. My favorite was the Extreme Makeover site. The servers put in a fence, sandbox, new deck, and did some landscaping for a family who really needed it. While the work was being done on the home, Bartman put the family up in the hotel he works at, and they got a limo ride and a trip to the zoo. On Thursday, the groups got to make up their own challenges. And, deciding to become some crazy Nehemiah's, one group decided to head to a Laundromat and hand out free quarters to anyone who wanted them. I heard they had a great opportunity to share their faith and met some pretty interesting characters.
What more can I go on about? Hmmm. There are so many topics left that I may have to let the week process a bit more in my mind before going back to it. And if anybody out there knows something of great importance that I've left out, feel free to shoot me an email. Perhaps this won't be the last entry on SERVE - but it will be the last one for this week. Andrea and I are heading up to Okiboji for vacation, so it'll be a bit before this thing's updated again.
Till next time,
Jason
So what is there left to tell. Too much I'm afraid, so I'll just try to pull out a few more of the highlights from the week.
Poemetry
Well, as many know, I've been trying my hand at poetry writing for the last several months. On the first night of SERVE, I was playing prayer-partner-substitute for one of the prayer partners that couldn't make it to pray with their server, and I got paired up with a great young lady named Meghan Gage from Chicago. Turns out she's an aspiring poet as well, so I challenged her to write one by the end of the week, and then read it in the final worship. She did, and it was magnificent. I shall have to grab it out of my still packed suitcase and post it up here sometime soon. Yet, as great of a poet as she was, she did get a little feisty when I asked her to play Queen Jezebel. But oh well, Jezebel was pretty evil I guess. So, in a way, Meghan really nailed the part. Hope to hear from you soon Meghan!
Running
I've been running since the February / March portion of this year. Not a ton, just two or three miles a day - trying to remember what my body used to look like before five years of college and another five of youth directing. Well, lo and behold, I meet a young lady by the name of Lauren Hoag who's quite the runner herself and so we had a great two mile venture during the middle of the week. Unfortunately, even though Lauren wanted to run again, I had the very bad habit of staying up way too late with the boys at SERVE, and only made that one run. Sorry Lauren.
Staying Up Way Too Late With the Boys at SERVE
So we'd hit the hay around midnight or one, yet the chats and horseplay just kept on going. Things were flung around the room. Flashlights were use to put people in the "Hotseat" (a position where, if in the light, you had to answer any question asked), and many laughs were had by all. Was it worth it? Most definitely. I only wish the gals hadn't gotten so jealous at how much fun we guys had every night. My favorite night, of course, ended with me lullaby-ing the boys to sleep with a little four string tenor banjo.
More Than Meets the Eye
Part of the theme for the week was about using your spiritual gifts. So Dawn, the spiritual director extraordinaire that she is, had wrapped gifts for me to open every night right before my talk. Inside each gift was an object that had something to do with the talk that night. On the first night, I lamented to the group, as I opened the gift, that I sure hoped there'd be a new Transformer in one of these things during the week. Lo and behold, someone takes my joke seriously, and during my last talk on Friday night, what do I pull out of the gift, but a brand new Transformer from Small Group #3. He's a jetplane, and his name is Terradive, and I've played with him every day since.
Z.Z.
For the second year in a row I was blessed to have Zach Zomerman attend the SERVE where I was speaking. Zach is an amazing guy from Orange City who also attended the RISE Above Music Festival and schooled some folks in the Sioux City Wheelers basketball demonstration. Zach played Elisha to my Elijah on Thursday night, and did a great job. I've heard through the grapevine that he might be at the next SERVE as a volunteer on the host team, and I'm pretty pumped if that all falls into place.
Worksites
Well, Luke really out did himself again this year finding some awesome worksites for all the servers to take part in. My favorite was the Extreme Makeover site. The servers put in a fence, sandbox, new deck, and did some landscaping for a family who really needed it. While the work was being done on the home, Bartman put the family up in the hotel he works at, and they got a limo ride and a trip to the zoo. On Thursday, the groups got to make up their own challenges. And, deciding to become some crazy Nehemiah's, one group decided to head to a Laundromat and hand out free quarters to anyone who wanted them. I heard they had a great opportunity to share their faith and met some pretty interesting characters.
What more can I go on about? Hmmm. There are so many topics left that I may have to let the week process a bit more in my mind before going back to it. And if anybody out there knows something of great importance that I've left out, feel free to shoot me an email. Perhaps this won't be the last entry on SERVE - but it will be the last one for this week. Andrea and I are heading up to Okiboji for vacation, so it'll be a bit before this thing's updated again.
Till next time,
Jason
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
SERVE Part II
So here we go again. I'm avoiding a little paperwork this afternoon and figured I may as tackle another chunk of the out of control blog that is SERVE.
My absolute favorite part of the weeks I'm in Sioux Falls, is without a doubt the people. The main thing that differeniates this group from many others that I work with, is the way they immediately invite you into their little circle. Speaking and comedy can be a lonely job at times. You end up spending a lot of time driving in a car, sleeping in a hotel room alone, or sitting in empty sanctuarys while people are "leaving you alone" to get ready. Often when I go on extended speaking trips, I'm given a room to sleep in alone because my hosts want me to have some privacy. The SERVE group, on the other hand, has none of this. I'm bunked right in between the host team, and they treat me as if they've known me for years.
Practical jokes abound. Whether it be airhorns, shower shenanigans, towel snapping, surprise "gifts", or my personal favorite - putting a picture of a young, awkward, teenage Troy on the big screen during worship - these guys and gals know how to have fun. My father in law has always said that the key to a good spiritual week is to play just as hard as you worship, and the Sioux Falls crew has that down.
From prank calls on Danny's speakerphone, to constantly threatening to steal someones clothes and towel from the shower, everyday has new suprises. So without further ado, I'll end this post with a few of my favorite SERVE 2005 moments of hilarity:
5. Jason Bartman sings Garth Brooks
Drummer for the week, Bartman grabs a guitar one afternoon and proves he's just as proficient on the six string. He does a rousing rendition of "I Will Sail My Vessel" with a little help from Danny Fergen.
4. Chelsea Plays Screech
So, on the old show Saved By the Bell, there was the nerdy character Screech, who had a unique style of fighting. It's hard to describe, but essentially, he'd cover his face with one hand, and then put his other fist through the arm that was covering his face and swing the fist around. It's hard to imagine without seeing it, I know. But if you ever run into Chelsea Gerdes, she does it better than the man himself. I'm still laughing (and secretly imitating the move in front of the bathroom mirror.)
3. Dustin Attacks Mark
Good friend Dustin is wearing a low slung pair of plaid shorts. We find that if he hikes them up enough and walks a little goofy, he looks like a pretty big nerd. So we challenge him to run into the crowded cafeteria and do Chelsea's "Screech Fighting" with Mark. Dustin steps up to the challenge and many kids are left wondering about his sanity while Mark tries to defend himself.
2. Morning Radio
So every year, Mark and Dan think up new ways to get the servers wide awake at 7 AM. In the past, this has included air horns and whacking them with those large foam noodles. This year, however, they set up giant speakers around the school and put on their own little radio show with Danny Fergen. Every morning during the show, they'd have a "special guest" come in. It was typically one of the SERVE head honchos, Troy, Dawn, or Luke. Unfortunately, since they were always in a leader's meeting, I had to fill in doing my best impersonation. It lead to me challenging people to knock Troy's hat off his head, pick Luke up off the ground, and telling everyone that Troy and Luke were both Dawn's real life sons. Much confusion and hilarity with the servers ensued.
And my favorite . . .
1. Dustin and I Caught Alone Together
So, it's no secret that the crew and I are close. Often, this closeness brings a lot of practical jokes involving one guy, crawling into another guy's bunk while he's asleep (or close to it) for a surprise awakening. Well, one morning, I'm just waking up, and Dustin and I are the only two in the room together. He crawls across the floor, under a desk (he's thin) and onto my airmattress with me. Pretty funny. Meanwhile, the radio show is going on outside, and the boys have just announced that the first server that can bring them a Bible with a certain passage marked, will win a prize. Well, suddenly, in our room, the lights flash on, and two servers who are frantically looking for a Bible, stumble around the desk and find us together on my air mattress. All four of us look around a little bewildered, and after a short pause, one of the kids says, "We're . . . looking for a Bible . . ." Dustin yells at them and tells them there are no Bibles in the Leader's room, and they run back out the door - leaving us to laugh hysterically at the scene they just saw. Two grown men, in their jammies, sharing an air matress.
Phew. Enough for now? Enough for me anyways. One or two more entries should take care of the rest. We'll see. And once again, I've barely scratched the surface of what it means to be part of the Sioux Falls crew. But before I go, I'll leave you with a few of the honorable mention moments.
1. Dawn pulling a . . . ahem . . . muscle while doing a cartwheel and being very sore for a few days afterwards.
2. Me trying to be very serious during the Sunday morning worship as Mark has warned me to "behave this year". Then having Ashley come up next to me, practially bursting with silly energy.
3. Dustin yelling at farmwives driving slowly down country roads.
4. Getting everyone on the host team to Monkey-walk for my own enjoyment.
5. Watching Dan give blood.
6. Seeing what new and tiny places Luke could "Ping" out of.
7. Enduring Mark's "shower dance" for seven straight days.
Till next time,
Jason
My absolute favorite part of the weeks I'm in Sioux Falls, is without a doubt the people. The main thing that differeniates this group from many others that I work with, is the way they immediately invite you into their little circle. Speaking and comedy can be a lonely job at times. You end up spending a lot of time driving in a car, sleeping in a hotel room alone, or sitting in empty sanctuarys while people are "leaving you alone" to get ready. Often when I go on extended speaking trips, I'm given a room to sleep in alone because my hosts want me to have some privacy. The SERVE group, on the other hand, has none of this. I'm bunked right in between the host team, and they treat me as if they've known me for years.
Practical jokes abound. Whether it be airhorns, shower shenanigans, towel snapping, surprise "gifts", or my personal favorite - putting a picture of a young, awkward, teenage Troy on the big screen during worship - these guys and gals know how to have fun. My father in law has always said that the key to a good spiritual week is to play just as hard as you worship, and the Sioux Falls crew has that down.
From prank calls on Danny's speakerphone, to constantly threatening to steal someones clothes and towel from the shower, everyday has new suprises. So without further ado, I'll end this post with a few of my favorite SERVE 2005 moments of hilarity:
5. Jason Bartman sings Garth Brooks
Drummer for the week, Bartman grabs a guitar one afternoon and proves he's just as proficient on the six string. He does a rousing rendition of "I Will Sail My Vessel" with a little help from Danny Fergen.
4. Chelsea Plays Screech
So, on the old show Saved By the Bell, there was the nerdy character Screech, who had a unique style of fighting. It's hard to describe, but essentially, he'd cover his face with one hand, and then put his other fist through the arm that was covering his face and swing the fist around. It's hard to imagine without seeing it, I know. But if you ever run into Chelsea Gerdes, she does it better than the man himself. I'm still laughing (and secretly imitating the move in front of the bathroom mirror.)
3. Dustin Attacks Mark
Good friend Dustin is wearing a low slung pair of plaid shorts. We find that if he hikes them up enough and walks a little goofy, he looks like a pretty big nerd. So we challenge him to run into the crowded cafeteria and do Chelsea's "Screech Fighting" with Mark. Dustin steps up to the challenge and many kids are left wondering about his sanity while Mark tries to defend himself.
2. Morning Radio
So every year, Mark and Dan think up new ways to get the servers wide awake at 7 AM. In the past, this has included air horns and whacking them with those large foam noodles. This year, however, they set up giant speakers around the school and put on their own little radio show with Danny Fergen. Every morning during the show, they'd have a "special guest" come in. It was typically one of the SERVE head honchos, Troy, Dawn, or Luke. Unfortunately, since they were always in a leader's meeting, I had to fill in doing my best impersonation. It lead to me challenging people to knock Troy's hat off his head, pick Luke up off the ground, and telling everyone that Troy and Luke were both Dawn's real life sons. Much confusion and hilarity with the servers ensued.
And my favorite . . .
1. Dustin and I Caught Alone Together
So, it's no secret that the crew and I are close. Often, this closeness brings a lot of practical jokes involving one guy, crawling into another guy's bunk while he's asleep (or close to it) for a surprise awakening. Well, one morning, I'm just waking up, and Dustin and I are the only two in the room together. He crawls across the floor, under a desk (he's thin) and onto my airmattress with me. Pretty funny. Meanwhile, the radio show is going on outside, and the boys have just announced that the first server that can bring them a Bible with a certain passage marked, will win a prize. Well, suddenly, in our room, the lights flash on, and two servers who are frantically looking for a Bible, stumble around the desk and find us together on my air mattress. All four of us look around a little bewildered, and after a short pause, one of the kids says, "We're . . . looking for a Bible . . ." Dustin yells at them and tells them there are no Bibles in the Leader's room, and they run back out the door - leaving us to laugh hysterically at the scene they just saw. Two grown men, in their jammies, sharing an air matress.
Phew. Enough for now? Enough for me anyways. One or two more entries should take care of the rest. We'll see. And once again, I've barely scratched the surface of what it means to be part of the Sioux Falls crew. But before I go, I'll leave you with a few of the honorable mention moments.
1. Dawn pulling a . . . ahem . . . muscle while doing a cartwheel and being very sore for a few days afterwards.
2. Me trying to be very serious during the Sunday morning worship as Mark has warned me to "behave this year". Then having Ashley come up next to me, practially bursting with silly energy.
3. Dustin yelling at farmwives driving slowly down country roads.
4. Getting everyone on the host team to Monkey-walk for my own enjoyment.
5. Watching Dan give blood.
6. Seeing what new and tiny places Luke could "Ping" out of.
7. Enduring Mark's "shower dance" for seven straight days.
Till next time,
Jason
SERVE Part I
Hmm. How to start a post on my favorite ministry week of the year. I may not get it all down in one entry, but I'll see how far I can get.
For the past three years, I've trekked up to Sioux Falls, South Dakota to be the "Spiritual Leader" (guy who gives God talks) every night at a week long service project called SERVE. Kids from around the U.S. and Canada come to work in the community for the week. They work during the day, and worship at night. It's a fairly simple set up.
It's quickly become my favorite week of the year. I get to work and hang around with my favorite ministry team on the planet, (Troy, Dawn, Luke, Mark, Dan, Dustin, Danny, David, Jason, Adam, Chelsea, Michelle, Kristi, Ashley, Amber, and many, many others.) all of whom have become close friends. I get the best worship band I've ever worked with (Jonah's Wale / Sons of Thunder) to lead into my talks. I get to laugh like crazy the whole week. I get to see God move in some pretty amazing ways.
This year's SERVE kicked off on Saturday, June 18th. For those of you who read the last post, you may be saying to yourself, "Wait, didn't you emcee a music festival that day?" Yes, I did. So on just a few hours sleep, I headed up to Sioux Falls and got there around midnight or shortly after. The one thing I've quickly learned about working with the Sioux Falls crew is, there is generally an amazing lack of sleep involved, and this year was no different.
We were staying at the Christian school in Sioux Falls for the week, and, while walking up to the front door after arriving, I was greeted by several of the fellas who were waiting up for men and wanted to try out their brand new air horn. It was pretty loud. I think I disappointed them though, with my lack of reaction as I was pretty stinking tired when i finally rolled in.
Many hugs and "Hellos!" were traded as all the guys had stayed up to welcome me back. (Most of the gals remained asleep, but I won't hold that against them.) Even though it was late, and I hadn't had an enormous amount of sleep in the past week, I headed to the worship room to get ready for the Sunday morning service where I'd be speaking to about 1000 Sioux Falls folks from all the Churches that were supporting SERVE for the week. Dawn came in while I was preparing and gave me a welcome back, as she said she couldn't sleep. So we talked a bit about the week, got real jazzed up, and then I tried to head to bed only to find that now it took me a while to fall asleep since Dawn had gotten me so riled up about the week.
Sunday morning service went great. I saw lots of old friends and SERVE supporters. It's an outdoor service that they've held at the fairgrounds for the last two years, so it's a great environment (if just a tad windy) to have worship in. In my ever continuing struggle to make Troy, Dawn, and Luke question their hiring of me, I started off my talk with the question, "Who here's ever had the dream that they were naked in a public place." You'd be surprised how many people at church on Sunday morning wouldn't raise their hands to that simple question . . . or, well, maybe you wouldn't be so surprised. But we survived the service and a good time was had by all.
Then it was on to Falls Park where we looked at the waterfalls, took a group picture, ate some great burgers, and laughed a lot more. It was a warm day . . .
Then back to the school for Sunday night worship. I used Dan as my talk illustration, covering him with mud, calling him a leper and then watching as he washed clean in the river Jordan. Your basic talk stuff. I got to find out during the week just how brave of a soul Dan really is. From mud to blood, there really wasn't anything Dan wouldn't do to help me out for a talk.
Monday night was good again. Luke, Dan, and Dustin all volunteered to be mighty men for King David who almost died to get some water.
Tuesday, Joshua was "Achan" for some of God's love. Dan stepped up to the plate and donated a little blood (while I chose not to watch). We had a FOUR HOUR WORSHIP SERVICE. It was amazing and it was crazy, and I will write more about it later on, but now I think i'm going to finish out this post with just the overviews of the worships for the week.
Wednesday we got a little Crazy for Nehemiah with some help from Dustin and a pile of bricks.
Thursday we traded some spiritual mantles to raise our spirits.
And Friday, Luke put on his "tough face" as Elijah took on 850 prophets that were not of God, and won.
Worship was pretty amazing every night. As far as I'm concerned, with Danny, Troy, Dawn, David, Amber and Jason leading the music, we had pretty much my "Dream Team" of a worship band. As one wise man was heard to say last week, "They rocked my face off." And I would have to agree with that sentiment. Many noses, lips and eyes were dusted off at the end of the week as we were constantly picking them up off the ground.
And I've barely touched the surface of what the week was, yet. So, with those tidbits to go on, and this post growing too long for my tastes, I will rename this entry, SERVE Part I, and close for now. Later I'll talk about the service projects we hit, the fellowship I had with my favorite minsitry crew, and some of the super cool students I got to hang out with for the week.
Till next time,
Jason
For the past three years, I've trekked up to Sioux Falls, South Dakota to be the "Spiritual Leader" (guy who gives God talks) every night at a week long service project called SERVE. Kids from around the U.S. and Canada come to work in the community for the week. They work during the day, and worship at night. It's a fairly simple set up.
It's quickly become my favorite week of the year. I get to work and hang around with my favorite ministry team on the planet, (Troy, Dawn, Luke, Mark, Dan, Dustin, Danny, David, Jason, Adam, Chelsea, Michelle, Kristi, Ashley, Amber, and many, many others.) all of whom have become close friends. I get the best worship band I've ever worked with (Jonah's Wale / Sons of Thunder) to lead into my talks. I get to laugh like crazy the whole week. I get to see God move in some pretty amazing ways.
This year's SERVE kicked off on Saturday, June 18th. For those of you who read the last post, you may be saying to yourself, "Wait, didn't you emcee a music festival that day?" Yes, I did. So on just a few hours sleep, I headed up to Sioux Falls and got there around midnight or shortly after. The one thing I've quickly learned about working with the Sioux Falls crew is, there is generally an amazing lack of sleep involved, and this year was no different.
We were staying at the Christian school in Sioux Falls for the week, and, while walking up to the front door after arriving, I was greeted by several of the fellas who were waiting up for men and wanted to try out their brand new air horn. It was pretty loud. I think I disappointed them though, with my lack of reaction as I was pretty stinking tired when i finally rolled in.
Many hugs and "Hellos!" were traded as all the guys had stayed up to welcome me back. (Most of the gals remained asleep, but I won't hold that against them.) Even though it was late, and I hadn't had an enormous amount of sleep in the past week, I headed to the worship room to get ready for the Sunday morning service where I'd be speaking to about 1000 Sioux Falls folks from all the Churches that were supporting SERVE for the week. Dawn came in while I was preparing and gave me a welcome back, as she said she couldn't sleep. So we talked a bit about the week, got real jazzed up, and then I tried to head to bed only to find that now it took me a while to fall asleep since Dawn had gotten me so riled up about the week.
Sunday morning service went great. I saw lots of old friends and SERVE supporters. It's an outdoor service that they've held at the fairgrounds for the last two years, so it's a great environment (if just a tad windy) to have worship in. In my ever continuing struggle to make Troy, Dawn, and Luke question their hiring of me, I started off my talk with the question, "Who here's ever had the dream that they were naked in a public place." You'd be surprised how many people at church on Sunday morning wouldn't raise their hands to that simple question . . . or, well, maybe you wouldn't be so surprised. But we survived the service and a good time was had by all.
Then it was on to Falls Park where we looked at the waterfalls, took a group picture, ate some great burgers, and laughed a lot more. It was a warm day . . .
Then back to the school for Sunday night worship. I used Dan as my talk illustration, covering him with mud, calling him a leper and then watching as he washed clean in the river Jordan. Your basic talk stuff. I got to find out during the week just how brave of a soul Dan really is. From mud to blood, there really wasn't anything Dan wouldn't do to help me out for a talk.
Monday night was good again. Luke, Dan, and Dustin all volunteered to be mighty men for King David who almost died to get some water.
Tuesday, Joshua was "Achan" for some of God's love. Dan stepped up to the plate and donated a little blood (while I chose not to watch). We had a FOUR HOUR WORSHIP SERVICE. It was amazing and it was crazy, and I will write more about it later on, but now I think i'm going to finish out this post with just the overviews of the worships for the week.
Wednesday we got a little Crazy for Nehemiah with some help from Dustin and a pile of bricks.
Thursday we traded some spiritual mantles to raise our spirits.
And Friday, Luke put on his "tough face" as Elijah took on 850 prophets that were not of God, and won.
Worship was pretty amazing every night. As far as I'm concerned, with Danny, Troy, Dawn, David, Amber and Jason leading the music, we had pretty much my "Dream Team" of a worship band. As one wise man was heard to say last week, "They rocked my face off." And I would have to agree with that sentiment. Many noses, lips and eyes were dusted off at the end of the week as we were constantly picking them up off the ground.
And I've barely touched the surface of what the week was, yet. So, with those tidbits to go on, and this post growing too long for my tastes, I will rename this entry, SERVE Part I, and close for now. Later I'll talk about the service projects we hit, the fellowship I had with my favorite minsitry crew, and some of the super cool students I got to hang out with for the week.
Till next time,
Jason
Monday, June 27, 2005
RISE Above Music Festival
In what may go down as the longest day of my summer, I joined up with good friend and brilliant funny man Steve Hydeen, and emceed the RISE Above Music Festival on Saturday June 18th in Orange City, IA.
When Rob Roozeboom asked me to emcee last fall, I was esctatic. First of all, I love Rob and his ministry with RISE, and second of all, it was going to be an awesome chance to meet some of the Christian world's best bands, comedians and speakers.
I went into the day a little tired. It didn't help that I decided to see the late show of Batman Begins on the Friday night before, and then Steve pulled into town about 1 AM. I had to be at the festival by 5:30 AM on Saturday morning. So you can do the math on how much sleep I got.
The crew for the day was fantastic. The bands and speakers were fantastic. Musicians that specifically stuck out in my mind were Remedy Drive (great band with a little coldplay influence) and of course Jeff Deyo. Man, Jeff Deyo can not only sing, but the guy's an amazing speaker as well. It was great to get to meet and greet all the bands backstage, and I was pretty pumped to get to shake hands with The Apologetix and Go Fish for the first time in my life.
Old friend, and hilarious comedian Jay Laffoon was there for the afternoon. Jay is one of Christian comedy's premier performers, and he's also an exceptionally nice guy. I met him for the first time last year in Michigan where he sat down with me for a couple hours and gave me the ins and outs of Christian comedy and speaking. He was no less gracious this time, as he ate supper with Steve and I and gave us even more advice. Yeah, I love the guy.
He also introduced us to Ventriloquist comedian Taylor Mason, who I've been a fan of for a long time. Steve had never seen Taylor's show, so we found our way out to the crowd to watch his set. Taylor, as always, delivered, as he put on a hilarious set that had Steve and I laughing like crazy.
Another personal highlight was meeting freestyle skateboarder Tim Byrne. Tim travels the country performing and giving his personal testimony. He's working with the Living It tour with actor Stephen Baldwin. And he's just an all around great guy. He did some awesome tricks on the mainstage, and gave a great testimony. It was pretty cool to see how many young kids were there, holding their own skateboards, as Tim spoke.
The highlight of the day though, was getting to introduce RISE Ministries' head honcho, and close personal friend, Rob Rozeboom. I'll admit, I teared up a little bit as I brought him onstage. The guy, in just a few short years, has blown me away with what God has done through him. And it was great to not only introduce him, but then get to hear his talk and altar call. So many people came up and accepted his challenge, it was fantastic. Kudos to Rob and the whole crew for putting on such a great day. They better do in again next year!
And so, after the day finally ended around 10:30 PM, I loaded back into the car and headed up to Sioux Falls, SD where I'd be speaking for SERVE for the next week. (More about that amazing experience in the next entry.)
Highlights of the Day
1. Hanging out with Steve and getting to hold his gorgeous baby again. Steve Hydeen is a great guy, hilarious comedian, and a real class act. Getting to hang with him backstage all day was more fun than I should have any right to partake in.
2. Old youth group member, and current good friend Chris Bouwman surprised me when he showed up at the festival. We finagled him a special backstage pass and he got to come hang with us most of the afternoon. It's always great to see Chris.
Til next time,
Jason
When Rob Roozeboom asked me to emcee last fall, I was esctatic. First of all, I love Rob and his ministry with RISE, and second of all, it was going to be an awesome chance to meet some of the Christian world's best bands, comedians and speakers.
I went into the day a little tired. It didn't help that I decided to see the late show of Batman Begins on the Friday night before, and then Steve pulled into town about 1 AM. I had to be at the festival by 5:30 AM on Saturday morning. So you can do the math on how much sleep I got.
The crew for the day was fantastic. The bands and speakers were fantastic. Musicians that specifically stuck out in my mind were Remedy Drive (great band with a little coldplay influence) and of course Jeff Deyo. Man, Jeff Deyo can not only sing, but the guy's an amazing speaker as well. It was great to get to meet and greet all the bands backstage, and I was pretty pumped to get to shake hands with The Apologetix and Go Fish for the first time in my life.
Old friend, and hilarious comedian Jay Laffoon was there for the afternoon. Jay is one of Christian comedy's premier performers, and he's also an exceptionally nice guy. I met him for the first time last year in Michigan where he sat down with me for a couple hours and gave me the ins and outs of Christian comedy and speaking. He was no less gracious this time, as he ate supper with Steve and I and gave us even more advice. Yeah, I love the guy.
He also introduced us to Ventriloquist comedian Taylor Mason, who I've been a fan of for a long time. Steve had never seen Taylor's show, so we found our way out to the crowd to watch his set. Taylor, as always, delivered, as he put on a hilarious set that had Steve and I laughing like crazy.
Another personal highlight was meeting freestyle skateboarder Tim Byrne. Tim travels the country performing and giving his personal testimony. He's working with the Living It tour with actor Stephen Baldwin. And he's just an all around great guy. He did some awesome tricks on the mainstage, and gave a great testimony. It was pretty cool to see how many young kids were there, holding their own skateboards, as Tim spoke.
The highlight of the day though, was getting to introduce RISE Ministries' head honcho, and close personal friend, Rob Rozeboom. I'll admit, I teared up a little bit as I brought him onstage. The guy, in just a few short years, has blown me away with what God has done through him. And it was great to not only introduce him, but then get to hear his talk and altar call. So many people came up and accepted his challenge, it was fantastic. Kudos to Rob and the whole crew for putting on such a great day. They better do in again next year!
And so, after the day finally ended around 10:30 PM, I loaded back into the car and headed up to Sioux Falls, SD where I'd be speaking for SERVE for the next week. (More about that amazing experience in the next entry.)
Highlights of the Day
1. Hanging out with Steve and getting to hold his gorgeous baby again. Steve Hydeen is a great guy, hilarious comedian, and a real class act. Getting to hang with him backstage all day was more fun than I should have any right to partake in.
2. Old youth group member, and current good friend Chris Bouwman surprised me when he showed up at the festival. We finagled him a special backstage pass and he got to come hang with us most of the afternoon. It's always great to see Chris.
Til next time,
Jason
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Boji Smokin Damacy!
Well, I make it no secret that my favorite ministry team to work with is the crew up in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. But by far, my favorite audience to speak to is located at the Presbyterian Camp on Okiboji Lake during the MAD (Music and Drama) camp week.
It's not a great performance area. (A tiny little chapel that's usually about four or five degrees warmer than the outside.) It's not a huge crowd. (Last year there were about 60 some students, this year there were about 40.) It's not a lot of money. (They pass the hat at the end of every performance.) But it is the warmest, most generous crowd I've ever worked with.
I've been very blessed to get to travel and speak to all sorts of folks. I've spoken and performed for 1500 people in Traverse City, Michigan - a 1000+ in Sioux Falls - another 1000+ in Ames, IA - but to me, no crowd makes me feel more welcome than the group at MAD Camp. I still think that the hour of stand-up that I performed for them last summer, is one of my favorite shows of all time.
So when Valerie King called me up again a few months ago and asked if I'd come do another show, I eagerly agreed. The only problem was, I'd done my entire act the year before, and I wasn't sure what I possibly had to offer. But I figured it didn't matter, this was MAD Camp after all.
I headed up to Okiboji on Monday the 6th for an 8 PM show. On the way, I picked up good friend Mike Rottink in Iowa Falls. He's a long time MAD Camp veteran, having worked on the staff before and attending for years. Mike's about the best travel companion you could ask for. There's no need for the radio when he's along, as it's all conversation and laughs.
We, of course, made a stop at the Goldfield Cheese Mart on the way to try a few samples, buy a Sioux City Root Beer, and buy some sweet potato and beet chips. Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "I don't think that potato chips made out of beets sounds very good." And if you are thinking that, you're right. They're not. Oh well, at least I can say it's one more thing I've tried in my life.
We hit the lake around 6 PM and headed to our favorite eatery in town - Smokin' Jakes - for a basket of 30 chicken drummies with HOT sauce. I will not waste your time trying to come up with 110 adjectives to adequately describe how warm their sauce can be. I will just leave it at this . . . it's hot. Trust me. The sign out front says, "Sis says, 'Smokin' Jake smokes everything!'" which Mike and I found very amusing.
After supper, we headed to camp to get ready. Once there, and only an hour after eating my first chicken drummie, I immediately had to find a restroom as the drummies began a mad revolt within my gut. It was great.
For the show, out of desperation, I dipped back into something I haven't done in several years. I read some short fiction stories that I wrote while at Iowa State. Mike helped me out, as well as a few people from the crowd, by reading different voices from each one. Now, these stories are strange. Strange. Once again, trust me on this. Maybe in the next couple days, I'll post one on the old blog just so you can see. But they make me laugh, and so I figured I'd give it a shot. I told Mike's brother Jon, that I was expecting to bomb, but the MAD Camp crowd came through once again and we had an absolute blast.
"How do you celebrate a great show like this", you might ask. Easy. Mike and I headed back to Smokin' Jakes for 30 MORE DRUMMIES. I know, I know, I paid for it later. But those things are so good. Then we headed back to the camp to sleep on a couple spare bunks. I got over 20 mosquito bites on just my legs in one night! And it was a little warm thanks to Mike shutting the fan off during the night (he was sleeping next to the window, so he shut it off because he was cold.)
After breakfast in the morning and some good chats with Val, Jon, Hair-ar-ite Pete, and Mike's parents, we hit the road again - making sure to stop at the Sugar Shack before leaving town.
The ride back was quite entertaining. I'm reviewing a book called, "Questions You Can't Ask Your Mama About Sex" for the next Impact magazine, and I'm a little behind on the reading, so I asked Mike to read to me. Needless to say, it was quite entertaining to hear Mike read lines like, "My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years now and we're really in love. How far is too far?" Thanks Mike. (And believe you me, that's a very tamed down version of some of things I had to hear in his voice.)
Once again, we stopped at the Goldfield Cheese Mart, although we avoided the beet chips, and then finally made it back to Mike's. The guy gave me a great birthday gift. It was the Playstation 2 game Katahari Damacy which I will someday have to expound on because of it's addictive qualities and hilarious storyline, but this blog's getting a little long.
After dropping Mike off, I headed to Eldora, IA to visit the lovely Andrea while she's away at camp with some of our high schoolers counselling for an Angel Tree camp. While there, I got some supper, wrestled, and got beat by a middle schooler named Palmer, and lost about 10 pounds in sweat.
After that, I got to make a quick stop home in Prairie City - just long enough to visit Mom and Dad, get brother Chris addicted to Katahari Damacy, and have a Diet Pepsi. Then it was finally home to Pella.
Highlight of the Trip
For my birthday, Chris got me a new WWE T-Shirt that's quite hilarious. On the front is a giant letter "C" with the words "Captain Charisma". The back says, "That's how I roll Christian!" Now, the shirt is worn on TV by a guy who's name is Christian, but when I wear it around, people assume it's some kind of ministry shirt and I get a lot of strange looks. I'm trying to get, "That's how I roll, Christian!" to become the next big catch phrase.
Till next time,
Jason
It's not a great performance area. (A tiny little chapel that's usually about four or five degrees warmer than the outside.) It's not a huge crowd. (Last year there were about 60 some students, this year there were about 40.) It's not a lot of money. (They pass the hat at the end of every performance.) But it is the warmest, most generous crowd I've ever worked with.
I've been very blessed to get to travel and speak to all sorts of folks. I've spoken and performed for 1500 people in Traverse City, Michigan - a 1000+ in Sioux Falls - another 1000+ in Ames, IA - but to me, no crowd makes me feel more welcome than the group at MAD Camp. I still think that the hour of stand-up that I performed for them last summer, is one of my favorite shows of all time.
So when Valerie King called me up again a few months ago and asked if I'd come do another show, I eagerly agreed. The only problem was, I'd done my entire act the year before, and I wasn't sure what I possibly had to offer. But I figured it didn't matter, this was MAD Camp after all.
I headed up to Okiboji on Monday the 6th for an 8 PM show. On the way, I picked up good friend Mike Rottink in Iowa Falls. He's a long time MAD Camp veteran, having worked on the staff before and attending for years. Mike's about the best travel companion you could ask for. There's no need for the radio when he's along, as it's all conversation and laughs.
We, of course, made a stop at the Goldfield Cheese Mart on the way to try a few samples, buy a Sioux City Root Beer, and buy some sweet potato and beet chips. Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "I don't think that potato chips made out of beets sounds very good." And if you are thinking that, you're right. They're not. Oh well, at least I can say it's one more thing I've tried in my life.
We hit the lake around 6 PM and headed to our favorite eatery in town - Smokin' Jakes - for a basket of 30 chicken drummies with HOT sauce. I will not waste your time trying to come up with 110 adjectives to adequately describe how warm their sauce can be. I will just leave it at this . . . it's hot. Trust me. The sign out front says, "Sis says, 'Smokin' Jake smokes everything!'" which Mike and I found very amusing.
After supper, we headed to camp to get ready. Once there, and only an hour after eating my first chicken drummie, I immediately had to find a restroom as the drummies began a mad revolt within my gut. It was great.
For the show, out of desperation, I dipped back into something I haven't done in several years. I read some short fiction stories that I wrote while at Iowa State. Mike helped me out, as well as a few people from the crowd, by reading different voices from each one. Now, these stories are strange. Strange. Once again, trust me on this. Maybe in the next couple days, I'll post one on the old blog just so you can see. But they make me laugh, and so I figured I'd give it a shot. I told Mike's brother Jon, that I was expecting to bomb, but the MAD Camp crowd came through once again and we had an absolute blast.
"How do you celebrate a great show like this", you might ask. Easy. Mike and I headed back to Smokin' Jakes for 30 MORE DRUMMIES. I know, I know, I paid for it later. But those things are so good. Then we headed back to the camp to sleep on a couple spare bunks. I got over 20 mosquito bites on just my legs in one night! And it was a little warm thanks to Mike shutting the fan off during the night (he was sleeping next to the window, so he shut it off because he was cold.)
After breakfast in the morning and some good chats with Val, Jon, Hair-ar-ite Pete, and Mike's parents, we hit the road again - making sure to stop at the Sugar Shack before leaving town.
The ride back was quite entertaining. I'm reviewing a book called, "Questions You Can't Ask Your Mama About Sex" for the next Impact magazine, and I'm a little behind on the reading, so I asked Mike to read to me. Needless to say, it was quite entertaining to hear Mike read lines like, "My boyfriend and I have been dating for several years now and we're really in love. How far is too far?" Thanks Mike. (And believe you me, that's a very tamed down version of some of things I had to hear in his voice.)
Once again, we stopped at the Goldfield Cheese Mart, although we avoided the beet chips, and then finally made it back to Mike's. The guy gave me a great birthday gift. It was the Playstation 2 game Katahari Damacy which I will someday have to expound on because of it's addictive qualities and hilarious storyline, but this blog's getting a little long.
After dropping Mike off, I headed to Eldora, IA to visit the lovely Andrea while she's away at camp with some of our high schoolers counselling for an Angel Tree camp. While there, I got some supper, wrestled, and got beat by a middle schooler named Palmer, and lost about 10 pounds in sweat.
After that, I got to make a quick stop home in Prairie City - just long enough to visit Mom and Dad, get brother Chris addicted to Katahari Damacy, and have a Diet Pepsi. Then it was finally home to Pella.
Highlight of the Trip
For my birthday, Chris got me a new WWE T-Shirt that's quite hilarious. On the front is a giant letter "C" with the words "Captain Charisma". The back says, "That's how I roll Christian!" Now, the shirt is worn on TV by a guy who's name is Christian, but when I wear it around, people assume it's some kind of ministry shirt and I get a lot of strange looks. I'm trying to get, "That's how I roll, Christian!" to become the next big catch phrase.
Till next time,
Jason
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Dutch Sumo Fever
I got sick last weekend. Not just sick, but sore throat, fever, headache, sweaty chills, lost six pounds in one day sick. And it couldn't have come at a worse time.
It was Tulip Time last weekend here in Pella. I say "weekend", but it was actually Wednesday night through Saturday night. I felt a little rough on Wednesday. But nothing was going to keep me from running the Klompen Klassic - Pella's annual Tulip Time 5K run.
Sister-in-law Amber agreed to make the run with me, and I can honestly say that it was the most fun I've ever had exercising. I started running about two months ago - in large part due to being inspired by Amber's new aggressive workout schedule. I've been running about two miles a day, and enjoying the results of some decent physical activity in my life.
Well, 5K is apparently around 3.1 or 3.2 miles, and let's just say that Amber and I were both a little nervous about it. It was the longest either of us have really attempted yet, and we'd be giving it a shot with almost 1000 other people through the streets of Pella.
I set a goal for us to finish in under 40 minutes - which, I know seems like a really long time to most people who'll read this, but I wanted to make sure I was being realistic. We finished barely over 36 minutes, and I was really proud of both of us. Even though we got passed by a late grandma in her late sixties, several elementary aged children, and countless "serious" runners, we were by no means at the back of the pack. And both Andrea and Kyle (Amber's dashing hubby) were there to meet us at the end.
To my amazement, the sore throat that I'd felt coming on Wednesday morning had pretty much disappeared after the run and we went to the local Mexican eatery to celebrate afterwards.
Thursday
I woke up and I knew I was in trouble. Sore throat, mild fever, headache. But there was no slouching on Thursday, because it was the first day of our 2nd Reformed Church Tulip Time Youth Group Fundraiser - DUTCH SUMO WRESTLING. We got the idea a while back to buy some of those large foam sumo suits for the youth group, dress them up in Dutch outfits, and have people pay to wrestle in them.
Well, the outfits looked fantastic, and the whole thing was pretty hilarious. We didn't have a huge crowd on Thursday, but we had enough to know that we'd made a popular fundraiser choice. The only real problem for me was standing in the sun all day, sweating like crazy, and lifting up large Dutch Sumo people while my illness seemed to be growing worse.
Friday
Friday was much like Thursday except with everything cranked up a notch. We had a line waiting to try Dutch Sumo Wrestling when we opened on Friday, and we nearly tripled our Thursday business. My illness kicked up a notch as well. By the end of Friday, between the sore throat and having to yell, "Ready, set . . . Dutch Sumo!" I'd pretty much lost my voice. I also found out when I got home and stepped on the scale that I'd lost about six or seven pounds since the day before.
This whole experience started to make me a little nervous since I was supposed to be performing an hour of comedy for the Norwalk Crossroads Church the following night. Andrea finally put her foot down Friday night and said she'd cover for me all day Saturday and run the Dutch Sumo booth as the only adult with some youth help. I thanked her, took some Tylenol Severe Cold and Flu and hit the hay after some rousing holes of Mario Golf with Kyle. (I'm getting pretty good hitting mostly par and birdies. Man, that game is worth the purchase of a Gamecube in and of itself!)
Saturday
With plans of taking it easy all day on Saturday until the big performance, I was immediately thrown for a loop when we received an early morning call telling us the Pella Tulip Time bigwigs were coming to our booth early to check out the fundraiser they'd been hearing so much about. Long story short, I leapt off the couch and made a quick trip to the church to set up the sumo ring (a twenty minute process) in about ten minutes. By the time the bigwigs had come through and we'd opened for business, and I finally headed back home, I was a sweaty sick mess.
I tried to take it easy the rest of the day. I drank twelve cups of green tea with Prairie City's own "Taylor Honey". I popped cough drops all day. I took a nap. I didn't talk. Yet, when it was time to head to Des Moines for the performance, my voice was probably only at about 70%
Pastor Glen at Crossroad's Church asked me if I was okay to go on when I got to his office. I assured him I was. After all, I've spoken sick before. Once I even gave a half hour talk at a retreat while having the most excruciating tooth pain imaginable because I needed an emergency root canal, and no one was the wiser. Yet, this show didn't go as well as planned.
Now, I'll admit, I'm my own worst critic. And often, when I think I've had a really bad show, it wasn't always as bad as I thought. Amber, Kyle, and Kyle's folks came to the show, as did my church's pastor and a few congregation members. They said that despite the bad voice, it was still a pretty funny show. While I don't disagree - as I seemed to get everyone to laugh pretty hard a few times during my hour - it definitely wasn't my best show by far.
Crossroads Church is a mobile ministry, so the show was in the Norwalk Middle School Gym. It was a little warm, and considering my fever, I'm pretty sure I was quite the spectacle with so much sweat pouring off my body. Halfway through the show, I also accidentally kicked my water over and froze for a millisecond, watching it pour out, until I finally reached down and picked it up. What an amateur!
anyway, Pastor Glen was great about the whole thing. He assured me the show went well despite my apologies, and I hope the whole event does great things for his church.
It was definitely one of those nights when I was driving home and thinking to myself, "Why am I still doing stand up? Maybe I should quit and just focus on the spiritual stuff!" Which I've been told is a pretty common thought for any comedian, Christian or otherwise. Luckily, those thoughts pass quickly and I'm able to force my brain into a state of denial about the few rough speaking experiences that come up.
Sunday
Mother's Day! Hurray! And I celebrated by heading over to Andrea's Grandma B's house and immediately passing out on the couch for the afternoon. What a great Grandson-in-law and son-in-law I am! But my illness finally overtook me and I couldn't make it any longer. I slept the day off. I was even supposed to attend a Nickel Creek concert in Des Moines with Andrea (it was her birthday present), but I let Amber go in my place because I felt so rotten. They said it was fantastic, and I'm sure it was. I'm glad they had a good time.
Monday
More sleep, feeling better, sore throat almost gone. Headed to my parent's abode for a little late Mother's daying and rasslin' watching and had a great time while still taking it easy. Started to realize that most of the previous five days was in kind of a hazed blur, and thanked God that it was over and He brought me through it one piece! Can't wait to till next year's Tulip Time. I'm thinking about a cribbage tournament as well as Dutch Sumo. I've got a whole year to plan.
Till next time,
Jason
It was Tulip Time last weekend here in Pella. I say "weekend", but it was actually Wednesday night through Saturday night. I felt a little rough on Wednesday. But nothing was going to keep me from running the Klompen Klassic - Pella's annual Tulip Time 5K run.
Sister-in-law Amber agreed to make the run with me, and I can honestly say that it was the most fun I've ever had exercising. I started running about two months ago - in large part due to being inspired by Amber's new aggressive workout schedule. I've been running about two miles a day, and enjoying the results of some decent physical activity in my life.
Well, 5K is apparently around 3.1 or 3.2 miles, and let's just say that Amber and I were both a little nervous about it. It was the longest either of us have really attempted yet, and we'd be giving it a shot with almost 1000 other people through the streets of Pella.
I set a goal for us to finish in under 40 minutes - which, I know seems like a really long time to most people who'll read this, but I wanted to make sure I was being realistic. We finished barely over 36 minutes, and I was really proud of both of us. Even though we got passed by a late grandma in her late sixties, several elementary aged children, and countless "serious" runners, we were by no means at the back of the pack. And both Andrea and Kyle (Amber's dashing hubby) were there to meet us at the end.
To my amazement, the sore throat that I'd felt coming on Wednesday morning had pretty much disappeared after the run and we went to the local Mexican eatery to celebrate afterwards.
Thursday
I woke up and I knew I was in trouble. Sore throat, mild fever, headache. But there was no slouching on Thursday, because it was the first day of our 2nd Reformed Church Tulip Time Youth Group Fundraiser - DUTCH SUMO WRESTLING. We got the idea a while back to buy some of those large foam sumo suits for the youth group, dress them up in Dutch outfits, and have people pay to wrestle in them.
Well, the outfits looked fantastic, and the whole thing was pretty hilarious. We didn't have a huge crowd on Thursday, but we had enough to know that we'd made a popular fundraiser choice. The only real problem for me was standing in the sun all day, sweating like crazy, and lifting up large Dutch Sumo people while my illness seemed to be growing worse.
Friday
Friday was much like Thursday except with everything cranked up a notch. We had a line waiting to try Dutch Sumo Wrestling when we opened on Friday, and we nearly tripled our Thursday business. My illness kicked up a notch as well. By the end of Friday, between the sore throat and having to yell, "Ready, set . . . Dutch Sumo!" I'd pretty much lost my voice. I also found out when I got home and stepped on the scale that I'd lost about six or seven pounds since the day before.
This whole experience started to make me a little nervous since I was supposed to be performing an hour of comedy for the Norwalk Crossroads Church the following night. Andrea finally put her foot down Friday night and said she'd cover for me all day Saturday and run the Dutch Sumo booth as the only adult with some youth help. I thanked her, took some Tylenol Severe Cold and Flu and hit the hay after some rousing holes of Mario Golf with Kyle. (I'm getting pretty good hitting mostly par and birdies. Man, that game is worth the purchase of a Gamecube in and of itself!)
Saturday
With plans of taking it easy all day on Saturday until the big performance, I was immediately thrown for a loop when we received an early morning call telling us the Pella Tulip Time bigwigs were coming to our booth early to check out the fundraiser they'd been hearing so much about. Long story short, I leapt off the couch and made a quick trip to the church to set up the sumo ring (a twenty minute process) in about ten minutes. By the time the bigwigs had come through and we'd opened for business, and I finally headed back home, I was a sweaty sick mess.
I tried to take it easy the rest of the day. I drank twelve cups of green tea with Prairie City's own "Taylor Honey". I popped cough drops all day. I took a nap. I didn't talk. Yet, when it was time to head to Des Moines for the performance, my voice was probably only at about 70%
Pastor Glen at Crossroad's Church asked me if I was okay to go on when I got to his office. I assured him I was. After all, I've spoken sick before. Once I even gave a half hour talk at a retreat while having the most excruciating tooth pain imaginable because I needed an emergency root canal, and no one was the wiser. Yet, this show didn't go as well as planned.
Now, I'll admit, I'm my own worst critic. And often, when I think I've had a really bad show, it wasn't always as bad as I thought. Amber, Kyle, and Kyle's folks came to the show, as did my church's pastor and a few congregation members. They said that despite the bad voice, it was still a pretty funny show. While I don't disagree - as I seemed to get everyone to laugh pretty hard a few times during my hour - it definitely wasn't my best show by far.
Crossroads Church is a mobile ministry, so the show was in the Norwalk Middle School Gym. It was a little warm, and considering my fever, I'm pretty sure I was quite the spectacle with so much sweat pouring off my body. Halfway through the show, I also accidentally kicked my water over and froze for a millisecond, watching it pour out, until I finally reached down and picked it up. What an amateur!
anyway, Pastor Glen was great about the whole thing. He assured me the show went well despite my apologies, and I hope the whole event does great things for his church.
It was definitely one of those nights when I was driving home and thinking to myself, "Why am I still doing stand up? Maybe I should quit and just focus on the spiritual stuff!" Which I've been told is a pretty common thought for any comedian, Christian or otherwise. Luckily, those thoughts pass quickly and I'm able to force my brain into a state of denial about the few rough speaking experiences that come up.
Sunday
Mother's Day! Hurray! And I celebrated by heading over to Andrea's Grandma B's house and immediately passing out on the couch for the afternoon. What a great Grandson-in-law and son-in-law I am! But my illness finally overtook me and I couldn't make it any longer. I slept the day off. I was even supposed to attend a Nickel Creek concert in Des Moines with Andrea (it was her birthday present), but I let Amber go in my place because I felt so rotten. They said it was fantastic, and I'm sure it was. I'm glad they had a good time.
Monday
More sleep, feeling better, sore throat almost gone. Headed to my parent's abode for a little late Mother's daying and rasslin' watching and had a great time while still taking it easy. Started to realize that most of the previous five days was in kind of a hazed blur, and thanked God that it was over and He brought me through it one piece! Can't wait to till next year's Tulip Time. I'm thinking about a cribbage tournament as well as Dutch Sumo. I've got a whole year to plan.
Till next time,
Jason
Monday, April 25, 2005
Sioux Falls
So Andrea and I loaded up into the car at 5:30 a.m. last Friday morning and headed up to Sioux Falls, SD to visit my favorite crew for a pre-SERVE meeting. We were supposed to be there at 11:30, but due to my overestimation on how long it would take to drive, we got there an hour early. (Oops! Lucky for me, Andrea didn't hold it against me that we could have had an extra hour of sleep!)
We met for a pizza lunch (with my all time favorite pizza from Papa Johns) at Troy's church, and it was great to see Troy, Dawn, Luke, Mark, Danny, Ashley, and Kristi again - plus a few new faces. After a very productive meeting where it seemed that SERVE was falling together quite well despite how every meeting consists of constant teasing and howling laughter, Dawn, Mark, Ashley and I headed off to the new Christian school to see where we'd be putting the whole event on. (Andrea headed shopping to spend some of her birthday money.)
The new Christian School seems to be a great facility to host a SERVE, and I even got to visit the science room thanks to Ashely, where I got to see a very defensive plant and watch her put her finger in a sheep's heart. Yeah, just your normal afternoon. Dawn then took us all out to Dairy Queen where Mark led us a in a very philosophical conversation and we laughed more in an hour than I think I'd laughed all month.
Troy and his wonderful wife Janna hosted Mark, Andrea, and I for supper at his new country home, and we had an awesome time feasting on steaks and playing with Alec, Reese, and Sage. Thanks to the Kooima's, Andrea is now extra gung ho about finding our own house. Thanks guys.
Then it was off to the Ramkota Inn where Danny works part time - he pulled a few strings and got us a suite that one of the Oakridge boys had stayed in (as well as South Dakota politico John Thune.) It was a fantastic suite, and many "thank you's" go out to Troy, Danny and the whole Sioux Falls crew for putting us up in such fancy digs for the night. We closed out our evening my favorite way possible - sitting around a living room, eating pizza and donuts, and laughing with Andrea, Danny, Mark and myself.
On Saturday, we hopped out of bed at the last possible second and headed over to the the North American Baptist Seminary for a CORE Youth Specialties event. It was great because we got to spend some more time with Troy, Dawn, and Luke, and I actually took notes during a lecture. I don't think I'd done that since . . . well, I don't know if I've ever done that.
I learned it had been Luke's birthday the day before, unbeknownst to me! I told him I'd make it up to him by treating the next time I saw him like it was his birthday. I'm going to have to get him a new, cool magic trick to make up for it.
After finally departing from our beloved Sioux Falls Crew, we headed home with the plan to stop half way at the home of two of our favorite people - Mike and Susie Rottink.
After a few twists and turns on old highway 3, we came across Goldfield, IA. So I had to stop and take Andrea to the Goldfield Cheese Mart. The Cheese Mart is a place where the Taylor family would always stopped on the annual trip to Okiboji for vacation. Andrea was shocked that I actually wanted to stop at a place with "Cheese" in the title, since I basically hate the stuff, but I assured her they had other things. We tasted some good eats, Andrea bought some cheese curds and crackers, and we got back on the road.
Iowa Falls was great. It was fantastic to see Mike and Susie again. We met their new cats, sampled some of Susie's homemade Crem Bru Lay (SP? Mike and Susie), and ate at the Chinese place. Many more laughs were had, and Mike showed me a great video starring Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits. We need to get together more often.
We finally rolled back into Pella on Saturday night around 12:30 a.m. after two days and about 11 hours of driving. A good time was had by all.
Things of note from the weekend:
1. Mark and Danny learned my least favorite word in the English language thanks to Andrea, and I'm sure it's going to come back to haunt me.
2. Ashley has no fear of dismembered sheep parts.
3. Luke will wait great lengths of time to "Ping" someone.
4. Mark can do "several hours of work in just a few hours!"
5. Boys and girls are different.
Till next time,
Jason
We met for a pizza lunch (with my all time favorite pizza from Papa Johns) at Troy's church, and it was great to see Troy, Dawn, Luke, Mark, Danny, Ashley, and Kristi again - plus a few new faces. After a very productive meeting where it seemed that SERVE was falling together quite well despite how every meeting consists of constant teasing and howling laughter, Dawn, Mark, Ashley and I headed off to the new Christian school to see where we'd be putting the whole event on. (Andrea headed shopping to spend some of her birthday money.)
The new Christian School seems to be a great facility to host a SERVE, and I even got to visit the science room thanks to Ashely, where I got to see a very defensive plant and watch her put her finger in a sheep's heart. Yeah, just your normal afternoon. Dawn then took us all out to Dairy Queen where Mark led us a in a very philosophical conversation and we laughed more in an hour than I think I'd laughed all month.
Troy and his wonderful wife Janna hosted Mark, Andrea, and I for supper at his new country home, and we had an awesome time feasting on steaks and playing with Alec, Reese, and Sage. Thanks to the Kooima's, Andrea is now extra gung ho about finding our own house. Thanks guys.
Then it was off to the Ramkota Inn where Danny works part time - he pulled a few strings and got us a suite that one of the Oakridge boys had stayed in (as well as South Dakota politico John Thune.) It was a fantastic suite, and many "thank you's" go out to Troy, Danny and the whole Sioux Falls crew for putting us up in such fancy digs for the night. We closed out our evening my favorite way possible - sitting around a living room, eating pizza and donuts, and laughing with Andrea, Danny, Mark and myself.
On Saturday, we hopped out of bed at the last possible second and headed over to the the North American Baptist Seminary for a CORE Youth Specialties event. It was great because we got to spend some more time with Troy, Dawn, and Luke, and I actually took notes during a lecture. I don't think I'd done that since . . . well, I don't know if I've ever done that.
I learned it had been Luke's birthday the day before, unbeknownst to me! I told him I'd make it up to him by treating the next time I saw him like it was his birthday. I'm going to have to get him a new, cool magic trick to make up for it.
After finally departing from our beloved Sioux Falls Crew, we headed home with the plan to stop half way at the home of two of our favorite people - Mike and Susie Rottink.
After a few twists and turns on old highway 3, we came across Goldfield, IA. So I had to stop and take Andrea to the Goldfield Cheese Mart. The Cheese Mart is a place where the Taylor family would always stopped on the annual trip to Okiboji for vacation. Andrea was shocked that I actually wanted to stop at a place with "Cheese" in the title, since I basically hate the stuff, but I assured her they had other things. We tasted some good eats, Andrea bought some cheese curds and crackers, and we got back on the road.
Iowa Falls was great. It was fantastic to see Mike and Susie again. We met their new cats, sampled some of Susie's homemade Crem Bru Lay (SP? Mike and Susie), and ate at the Chinese place. Many more laughs were had, and Mike showed me a great video starring Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits. We need to get together more often.
We finally rolled back into Pella on Saturday night around 12:30 a.m. after two days and about 11 hours of driving. A good time was had by all.
Things of note from the weekend:
1. Mark and Danny learned my least favorite word in the English language thanks to Andrea, and I'm sure it's going to come back to haunt me.
2. Ashley has no fear of dismembered sheep parts.
3. Luke will wait great lengths of time to "Ping" someone.
4. Mark can do "several hours of work in just a few hours!"
5. Boys and girls are different.
Till next time,
Jason
Monday, April 11, 2005
Prom 2005
So, I made a rule a few years ago that I wasn't going to do any more stand up at Proms. The shows just don't tend to go that well. Yet, good friend and "rock my face off" bandleader, Troy Kooima, recommended me for a show for Unity Christian High School in Orange City, IA. They were having their pre-prom banquet at the New Life Reformed Church in Sioux Center, IA, and they wanted a comedian for about a half hour. Well, on Troy's urging, I agreed
I quickly decided that I needed a date for the prom, and didn't hesitate to call the one person I knew could liven up any event - my brother-in-law, Kyle. He was quite excited to be attending prom again after so many years, and ended up wearing a dapper jacket, dress shirt, and jeans. Well, I was blown away, and knew we'd be quite the head turning couple when we walked in.
Needless to say, we had a great time. The Unity Christian students were fantastic, and I can't wait to speak for them again some time! Kyle and I were treated very well. My contact, Mr. Rudy Folkerts, was great. The table of adults we sat with were lots of fun. And the meal was excellant. (Kyle had the chicken cordon bleu, and i had the pork chop.)
I regailed the crowd with my stories about going to prom with Elmo, dimembered body parts, and vomiting. We had a blast!
On the ride home, the fun continued as we listened to some Coast to Coast, ate fast food, and got harrassed by a child who wanted to know Kyle's height. According to the big guy, he's "about two step ladder's high". This apparently wasn't the answer that the kid was looking for. Hmm.
Til next time,
Jason
I quickly decided that I needed a date for the prom, and didn't hesitate to call the one person I knew could liven up any event - my brother-in-law, Kyle. He was quite excited to be attending prom again after so many years, and ended up wearing a dapper jacket, dress shirt, and jeans. Well, I was blown away, and knew we'd be quite the head turning couple when we walked in.
Needless to say, we had a great time. The Unity Christian students were fantastic, and I can't wait to speak for them again some time! Kyle and I were treated very well. My contact, Mr. Rudy Folkerts, was great. The table of adults we sat with were lots of fun. And the meal was excellant. (Kyle had the chicken cordon bleu, and i had the pork chop.)
I regailed the crowd with my stories about going to prom with Elmo, dimembered body parts, and vomiting. We had a blast!
On the ride home, the fun continued as we listened to some Coast to Coast, ate fast food, and got harrassed by a child who wanted to know Kyle's height. According to the big guy, he's "about two step ladder's high". This apparently wasn't the answer that the kid was looking for. Hmm.
Til next time,
Jason
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